Lenny Dykstra’s Not Afraid Of The Dark, Doesn’t Believe In Ghosts

Can I interest you in Lenny Dykstra ranting about the evils of big banking? Via Dealbreaker:

“...Look, I don’t want to get into this New World Order stuff. I’m a regular guy. I don’t believe in ghosts, I’m not afraid of the dark. Never in my life did I think there was a thing called corporate crime. But JPMorgan? They’re criminals. Fireman’s Fund? They’re criminals. I didn’t get stupid overnight. I don’t read much because it’s so bad for my eyes. But I see some of this stuff and it’s insanity.”

Lots more fun after the jump.

This all comes from a sitdown Dykstra had with 610 Sports Talk in Philadelphia, with highlights coming courtesy of banking blog Dealbreaker. Dykstra, you’ll remember, became pretty famous for making millions playing the stock market. Then lost it all when the economy tanked.

As he explained it on Sunday, “I was like a submarine, I went under, bro; now I’m coming up; I’m standing tall. I went under, took care of business, and now I’m doing what I’ve got to do.”

LIKE A SUBMARINE, BRO.

What’s next for Lenny? Well, thank God it involves TV show:

HOST: “Are you working on a reality tv show?”

LENNY: “It’s not reality, it’s a docudrama I’ve been asked to do with several production companies. It’s called “The Comeback”- when a man loses anything, he’s capable of anything-which is what this country is built on. I’m kind of a wild card, Howard.”

Kind of a wild card. But isn’t he also a kind of a lighting rod? You’re goddamn right:

“I’m a lightning rod for money; after we’re done talking today when you’re walking to your car you’ll probably find 100 bucks.”

Well, then. It sure sounds like Lenny’s on the way back, huh?

HOST: “So are you saying, you Lenny Dykstra, will be back?”

LENNY: “No, Howard, I am back. I didnt come on your show because I hope I’ll be back; I don’t hope I’m gonna get a hit; I already got a hit. I’m already on the base, bro; I’m already looking at the scoreboard looking at my averages.”

ALREADY ON BASE, BRO. JUST WAITIN FOR THE DOCUDRAMA.