Alex Morgan Is Officially A Celebrity

After the jump, some excerpts.

One entry, posted yesterday.

I always imagined that Alex Morgan was the kind of person who was really good looking in middle school. I wasn’t. Maybe that’s why I always felt so anxious whenever I was with her. It was as if I thought that somehow she would figure me out and her affection would slip through my hands instead of over my body. With every smile she reassured me, calming my nerves with every peck, yet at the same time making me more afraid that we would run into some junior high hunk who she would leave me for. The funny thing was I never wanted much more than that. “What are you looking at?” she asked, climbing on top of me while I laid on my chest in her parents’ bed. “Nothing” I said, “I just thought I saw a copy of ‘The Satanic Verses’ on your mom’s bookshelf.”

Or another, from today.

I could tell as soon as I saw Alex Morgan stretching by the bleachers after practice she was nimble. Behind the goalposts, her back-lit brown hair blew wispy in the late spring sunset — a come-on for the ages. When you’re alone, a few minutes taking in the tight-set polyester of her jersey isn’t so bad. Teenage lust must breathe. Feeling bold I kicked a ball her way, my left leg asleep from crouching on the field in the evening sun. With a smile she kicked it back, flipped her hair and walked away. She’d been here before.

Pretty impressive stuff. Any blog that can make you laugh, then laugh nervously, and then make you wonder whether it’s possible for a blog to spawn a restraining order... Quite an accomplishment. But what about the news that Alex Morgan has a boyfriend? We wouldn’t want these touching tales of romance turning into embittered tales of betrayal... Or would we?

(But seriously, it sucks that Alex Morgan has a boyfriend.)