Not that Vick and his PR army haven't been trying to push the dogfighting down as many paragraphs as possible. Vick seems to think the only people who still care are reporters. "They are writing as if everyone feels that way and has the same opinions they do. But when I go out in public, it's all positive, so that's obviously not true."

[...]

"Yeah, you got the family dog and the white picket fence, and you just think that's all there is. Some of us had to grow up in poverty-stricken urban neighborhoods, and we just had to adapt to our environment. I know that it's wrong. But people act like it's some crazy thing they never heard of. They don't know."

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Maybe The Best Thing On The Internet. Fake Prokhorov: "Stern David should relax. Let owners lead. Enjoy custom staff of thirteen supermodels and luxury beverage. Stern likes stocky loud women of Orient. The Prokhorov oblige with whole basketball team of them. Wives, they know nothing Stern David. Let live life of luxury with Thai lady wrestler. And yes all ladies. Prokhorov hires men of knowledge to inspect to keep Bangkok Surprise from ruffling Stern David hair."

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Like When Miami Administrators Called Out USC's For Violations. I guess that makes Paul Dee the Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of college football.

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More Miami-Ness. SB Nation's Miami blog is making a lot of sense here.

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Long Live Arvydas! A great read from Jonathan Abrams at Grantland.

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A Long Digression On Oreos. I've never been a big fan of Oreos, and here's why: They taste great at first, but if you have one, you automatically want two. That's not a problem on its own, but then, the more Oreos you eat, the more they crumble all over you, and after you have four or five (or ten), you end up sitting there covered in little black Oreo dust. It's bad enough that you've just eaten four or five (or ten) cookies when you only wanted one or two, but just in case you had any self-respect left, you look down and realize that you're covered in tiny Oreo crumbs. It's terrible. So, I guess what I'm saying is, if you buy the new Triple Double Stuff Oreos, it's basically a way of announcing to the world that you've just f***ing given up.

Cookies and cream ice cream, though? That's what's up.

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MMA Stars Spend Their Free Time Exactly As You Imagined. Here's Brock Lesnar using a military sniper rifle to pick off a bunch of helpless prarie dogs and test different kinds of ammunition.

Courtesy of MMA Nation:

"To see what these different sized bullets do to these animals is good research."

America!

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Finally, Michael Irvin Gets The Last Word. At long last, we have Michael Irvin's response to Yachthookergate. Here's an excerpt, and the full transcript's over at Sports Radio Interviews.

I would have fallen into that. I would fall into it. Listen I wasn’t able to handle at 19,18, 20. I wasn’t even able to handle it at 30. Thirty-five? I just got here at forty-five! I just got here. If you would have offered me boats, women, and my hands are up in the air. ... The football part I am going to whether he is there or not. The other stuff he is making easy like boats. Dawg boats? Come on man get on the boat. We are going to go out on a boat. We got some women. Well we are out of practice at 3:30. I will meet you over there at 4. That is just what you say. I am sorry. That’s the truth. I called him a snake and rapist because think about it this this way…he’s snaking people, but you are a rapist. How do you walk into someone’s home. Forget football. Forget the University of Miami. I don’t care about it. How do you walk into someone’s home and sit and eat dinner with them? Watch and look at their kids? Look at all the things in their home that they worked hard over the years to gather and then you take a check and then you go and blow away all of their savings? Man it doesn’t get any lower than this.

And now, let's re-watch the most terrifying pep talk in college football history.

Starting at about the 40-second mark: