An unintended side effect of banning home plate collisions

Without the tried-and-true option of colliding with the catcher, baserunners will be forced to perform awkward, aesthetically unpleasant “hook slides,” never envisioned by the founders of our great pastime. Watch this fancy play by Willie “Mays” Hayes and weep for our future:

A couple observations:

• Calling your shot and then laying down a bunt is bush. That is bush league.

• Snipes got a terrible jump off second base. Getting terrible jumps is probably how the IRS finally caught up to him.

• If this had happened in real life, Clu Haywood, the Yankee first baseman, would have been blamed for hesitating before throwing home, much as Johnny Pesky was criticized for “holding the ball” in the 1946 World Series. The New York Post headline writes itself (“Get a Clu, Haywood”).

• Haywood was played by Pete Vuckovich, who won the Cy Young award with the Brewers in 1982.

• In the sequel it’s revealed that the Indians lost the ALCS to the White Sox. So this whole sequence likely would have been forgotten, just as no one remembers this game. Such is the price of expanded playoffs and the Wild Card (I capitalize it out of respect for the institution).