Most people are right-handed. You can depend on a right-handed person. A right-handed person is a good neighbor, definitely not a bomb-thrower.
The All-Switch-Hitter Team
A lefty, on the other hand, you have to watch out for. You wouldn’t let a left-handed person do your taxes or babysit your kids, for instance. I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know.
But the worst type, by far, are the ambidextrous. A left-handed person you can at least trust to be himself. A switch-hitter, though, can’t make up his mind. He’s a squish. God save us if one of these gutless losers ever attained high office.
Anyway, here are the best switch-hitters in baseball history, as chosen by the Commissioner’s blue ribbon panel of experts:
| Pos | Player | Years | WAR | Notes |
| C | Ted Simmons | 1968-1988 | 50.3 | Probably the best catcher not in the Hall of Fame, after Piazza. |
| 1B | Eddie Murray | 1977-1997 | 68 | One of only four players with 3,000 hits, 500 homers. |
| 2B | Frankie Frisch | 1919-1937 | 70.1 | He and Chipper are only players to hit .300 from each side of plate. |
| 3B | Chipper Jones | 1993-2012 | 85.2 | Only switch-hitter to see through Warren Report hoax. |
| SS | Ozzie Smith | 1978-1996 | 78.5 | Had the best season without any home runs in the post-dead-ball era. |
| LF | Tim Raines | 1979-2002 | 68.8 | Stole 808 bases with 85% success rate. Greatest base stealer ever? |
| CF | Mickey Mantle | 1951-1968 | 109.7 | Reached base at .512 clip in 1957 and still didn't lead the league! |
| RF | Carlos Beltran | 1998-present | 67.6 | Had 1.557 OPS across two postseason series in 2004. |
| UT | Pete Rose | 1963-1986 | 79.4 | Played during six different presidential administrations. |
| SP | Kid Nichols | 1890-1906 | 116.6 | The first great overhand pitcher? Was youngest ever to 300 wins. |
| SP | Robin Roberts | 1948-1966 | 83.1 | Led NL pitchers in WAR every year from 1950 thru 1954. |
| SP | Ted Lyons | 1923-1946 | 67.2 | Only Hall of Fame pitcher with more walks than strikeouts. |
| SP | Mordedai Brown | 1903-1916 | 55.1 | Some incredible century-old footage of him pitching here. |
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