A U.S. Olympian Celebrates In The Most American Way Possible

“Finally!!!!” said U.S. swimmer Ricky Berens after winning Gold on Tuesday, “The end of season celebration dinner! mcdonalds!! Yes all for me!“I think we can all agree that winning a Gold Medal at the Olympics seems like one of the coolest feelings in the world. There’s the initial rush of victory where you collapse into your teammates arms... the roar from the crowd where everyone in the building gets chills... the triumphant interview with Andrea Kramer where she asks you questions like, “Why are you guys so great?” and you just smile and shrug like a goddamn champion... standing on the podium for the anthem ... and then, maybe the best part, you get to spend the next week or so in London, reliving the glory 24 hours-a-day in the Olympic Village and bouncing around the host city like a God.

Winning a Gold Medal is great for a million reasons.

But there’s also this--Olympians have been killing themselves in training for at least nine months before the Olympics, and most of them much longer than that. Imagine how amazing it must feel to be done with that, and just spend the next 10 days gorging yourself the most unhealthy stuff on earth. It’s like a sanctioned, guilt-free food bender. And on that front, there’s no better way to start than a gigantic meal at McDonalds.

Mind you, McDonalds is gross and depressing if you have it too often, but man... Once every six months or so? Those fries, a McFlurry, some nuggets, a Big Mac. It’s HEAVEN.

In fact, It’s been about six months since my last McDonalds orgy, and seeing Berens’ tweet this morning made me realize it’s time to go back. So I guess what I’m saying is, if this was all a viral marketing campaign from McDonalds, it’s totally working.

U-S-A!

U-S-A!