Smush Parker masters Instagram under his new name: Lion King

As it happens, I was just thinking about journeyman basketball player and American folk hero Smush Parker. That doesn’t happen a lot, but it does happen. I mention this only because there is a chance that I summoned this. This:

Although of course Smush Parker does not need summoning, or anyway should not be expected to listen when summoned. He goes where he goes, and does what he pleases. We mortals can no more reasonably ask Smush not to Smush than we can command the sun not to rise. Smush Parker is going to do Smush Parker things, and we can -- friends, we must -- follow him as he does those things on Instagram at the_.lion._king.

There you will find Smush Parker, again, pushing the boundaries of the medium. You will see screengrabs of his Facetime chats with his children. You will see a watermarked photo of him dunking on Zydrunas Ilgauskas, and then you will see former NBA player Stephen Graham razzing him in the comments.

But mostly you will see Smush Parker. You will, and I want to be very clear about this, see many pictures of Smush Parker.

Pictures of Smush Parker in various foreign cities. Pictures of him with his family. Intermittently you will also see pictures of lions.

But yeah. Mostly Smush. Sometimes with his shirt on, sometimes not. Sometimes pictures of himself that Smush Parker has turned into Smush Parker Memes.

Several such pictures, in fact.

Pictures (of Smush Parker) that wander right up to the borders of what anyone has attempted on Instagram to date.

Instagram is where Smush Parker is, and Smush Parker is both who Smush Parker is and what Smush Parker does. That is as comforting a thought now as it has ever been, and these photos are our proof that he is out there, and that he is doing Smush Parker things.

It could never have been any way but this. It should never be any way but this.