His secret? Thin Mints, it appears. RT @1067thefandc: WHOA. Look how huge Bryce Harper is now. http://t.co/thGnImTY4B pic.twitter.com/ObK8SBEenv
— Mr. Irrelevant (@MrIrrelevantDC) March 5, 2014 Bryce Harper is jacked, carrying Girl Scout Cookies
Classic case of PEDs: Performance Enhancing Desserts.
(Original photo via Getty Images)
The best of the rest
(4) Do-Si-Dos
(5 through whatever) All the ones you haven’t heard of
(846) Friggin’ Trefoils (AKA TrefLOLs)
This ranking came after much internal company debate.
| wow bryce harper and i have the same girl scout cookies | |
| Same | |
| uh-oh | |
5:15 PM | |
| Actually, think the way to attack this post is to create SB Nation's definitive Girl Scout Cookies ranking | |
| Would anyone care to have a civil debate? | |
| me and seth were talking about this yesterday! | |
| OBVIOUSLY! OK, perfect | |
| i mistyped samoas "samosas" and we agreed that girl scouts would probably make good samosas | |
| peanut butter patties > * | |
| and that they shouljdn't be allowed to have mimosas | |
| I'd eat a samoa samosa | |
| My parents bought all these weird new Girl Scout cookies and gave me some. | |
| AND? | |
| WHich is very nice but also get the fuck out of here with this Dulce de Leche thing. | |
| They're good. | |
| Of course. | |
| yeah i don't want my cookies speaking spanish | |
| But if you are going to buy Girl Scout cookies, you are kind of fucking up if you don't get Samoas and PB Patties and Thin Mints. | |
| Samoas are by for the worst of those 3 | |
| *by far | |
| I disagree. Those are my top three in order. | |
| Yeah, I think it's (1) Thin Mints (2) Tagalongs (PB Patties) (3) Samoas | |
| you guys messed up because (1) trefoils | |
| I pretty much like all of them, though. I even like the weird butter cookies with nothing going on. | |
| bill get the shit out of here | |
5:20 PM | |
| everybody disagrees with you | |
5:20 PM | |
| NO YOU | |
| i didn't come in here spewing bullshit about trefoils | |
| you're all underrating samoas | |
| I am not. | |
| caramel delites is objectively top three or you're all crazy | |
| I had them first although I may still be underrating them to your taste, Brian. | |
| mine goes (1) trefoils (2) samoas COME AT ME | |
| caramel delites are the same thing as somoas Ricky | |
| i could go for like 4 boxes right now | |
| they just have a different name in the upper midwest for some weird ass reason | |
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| Trefoils are just shortbread, right? | |
| listen: let's stop debating these cookies and start agreeing its fucked up we force girl scouts to make cookies for us in huge dickensian factories | |
| yes | |
| smh bill | |
| man fuck trefoils | |
| the only awful thing is the cookies aren't available year-round | |
| get that plain shit outta here | |
| let's agree on that at least | |
| 1) Tagalongs 2) Trefoils 3) Thin Mints | |
| haines knows what's up | |
 | |
| Oh wow, Samoas get the full snub. | |
| 1. Tagalongs 2. Thin Mints 3. Trefoils 4. Somoas for me | |
| WHY YOU GOTTA HATE SAMOAS | |
| you know what, guys | |
| they're all good | |
| you keep debating this shit | |
| Samoas let me know who doesn't like coconut. It's like asking baseball questions in WWII to see who's a German spy. | |
| it's just that somoas are the least good | |
| brian back me up on trefoils and i'll back you up on samoas | |
| Kevin is right | |
| Chris, expect to hear from Haloti Ngata on your anti-Samoan bias. | |
| and i'll keep eating these thin mints out of my freezer | |
| wait, now kevin is wrong. he was right for a second. | |
| although, tagalongs are much better now that the no peanut butter bit is a crunchy cookie rather than cake-like | |
| i call them tony rocky horror | |
| I like Samoas, I just like them 4th. | |
| There really only is a cookie podium, huh | |
| who cares about fourth | |
| Do the lemon ones still exist? Because those are worse than the 4 I listed. By a lot. | |
5:25 PM | |
| I have no idea what exits beyond the top 4. Everything else is trash. | |
| I liked this room more when we talked about baseball. I'm going to go stare at a wall and pretend it's 85 again, brb | |
| can we take a poll | |
| google doc | |
| GirlScoutCookies.com has a poll and the results will SHOCK YOUhttp://girlscoutcookies.org/favorite_cookie_res... | |
Shortbreads Trefoils 7% A traditional shortbread cookie made in the shape of the Girl Scout trefoil | |
| wtf america | |
| WOW tha is a good poll | |
| oh man, the shortbread cookies broken up into ice cream ... | |
| We're still a thin-mint nation. | |
| "my favorite girl scout cookie is the thanks-a-lot" -- an idiot who should not be allowed to vote or operate machinery | |
| There are no RED STATES and there are no BLUE STATES. We all enjoy Thin Mints. We all love our freedoms. | |
| AINT NOBODY BUY TREFOILS | |
| lemonades and pb sandwiches blow | |
| how are they that popular | |
| more like trashfoils | |
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| y'all can feel free to go to hell | |
| Because Jon Bois is apparently sitting this one out: | |
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| all cookies are pretty good | |
| I HEARD WE WERE TALKIN COOKIES | |
| hi seth! | |
| INDEED, SETH | |
| You have a lot of catching up to do Seth, but I believe in you | |
| tagalongs, thin mints, samoas | |
| okay anyone here like nilla wafers? because if not wtf is wrong with you | |
| everything else can kick rocks | |
| nila are great bill! | |
| i think trefoils tickle my nilla bone #phrasing | |
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| i'd rather eat nilla wafers than be stabbed in the brain, i guess | |
| twitters reaction is, uh, very mixed | |
| smh | |
5:30 PM | |
| but thin mints and samoas are up there | |
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| TREFOILS? WE TALKIN TREFOILS.A | |
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| not only does bill talk baseball but he has good taste in cookies. Bill for President of SB Nation | |
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| IM SAYIN MAN | |
| My wife is one of those people who thinks Thin Mints are the best. Embarrassing | |
| I have Samoas in my house right now. I think I'll eat some. | |
| good call grant | |
  | |
| Whoops. Looks like i just shoved the whole tray in my mouth | |
| My seven year old cousin in slipping. Hasn't even brought me my cookies yet. | |
| Note: Thin mints and Samoas only | |
| good call grant | |
| |
| sadflksdfhsldkf | |
| goddamn it Lana | |
| WHAT THE FUCK LANA | |
| Why isn't girl scout cookie eating a SBN video yet? | |
| #sports | |
| i mean they're not like head-and-shoulders above average cookies | |
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| but if you don't like them, you don't support america's youth | |
| no but really though they are real low-quality cookies and it's possible to love them but still admit that | |
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| i like cookies | |
| LANA | |
| LANAAAAAAA | |
| ahem | |
| we need to discuss your taste in cookie | |
| it's not like they're using different ingredients from other mass produced cookie tho | |
| s | |
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| I ate five extra cookies when I read your tweet, Lana, and then I made the sign of the cross | |
| Ryan you've indoctrinated your girlfriend with this samoas > all bullshit | |
| the best girl scout cookies are samoas and thin mints but they aren't mind blowing | |
| No, it's Samoas AND Thin Mints over everything | |
| at least you're on the right side of this fight | |
| Hi. Just want to say thin mints are trash and samoas are the best | |
| They're a seasonal delight that affirms our belief in America's youth. | |
| I'm with Ryan here | |
| Yeah, there are other good ones, but you only eat those when offered. You don't consciously buy them. | |
| the shortbread ones were my favorite as a kid | |
| but then I grew up | |
| I'm with Ryan as well. | |
5:35 PM | |
| |
| listen all cookies are good, but people who don't think Samoas and Thin Mints are the two best should be thrown into a huge fucking fire pit | |
| not wrong! | |
| I turn down thin mints and I am fat. | |
| That's some all-inclusive, everyone gets a trophy shit that is ruining America | |
| Alfie's like "Thin Mints are good, but have you ever had them with a 24-hour braise of pork shoulder?" | |
| ALFIE | |
| hahaha | |
| ahahahajahahaha | |
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| Well David, have you? | |
| Alfie's meat lunches get me through this life, it's all love. | |
| I will have a better answer for you in like 25 hours. | |
| you fucking anti-tagalongs people | |
| unbelievable | |
| I had a pulled pork sandwich for lunch. And 3 samoas. | |
| tagalongs? gtfo | |
| Then I kicked over a stand and threw all the thin mints in a dumpster | |
| /rlrt @alfiebcc I had a pulled pork sandwich for lunch. And 3 samoas. | |
| georgia, cookie opinions please | |
| well that's just wasteful | |
| |
| #TrillLunch | |
| Tagalongs are hobo-Reese's cups | |
| which cookies go best with nasty over-hopped IPAs? | |
| Hi Brian. | |
| Wait, are we putting all Thin Mints in the same category or are we considering room temp Thin Mints and freezer Thin Mints two different cookies? | |
| THis is important | |
| two different cookies | |
| Hi Georgia. What are your opinions on Thin Mints? | |
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| I don't eat room-temp thin mints and I don't know anyone who does. | |
| ALL HANDS ON DECK COOKIE CAMPFIRE | |
| room temp thin mints are trash | |
| If you have to do something special for the cookie that just tells you how bad it is | |
| Okay, frozen thin mints are in the Samoas category, room temp are hanging out with the Trefoils | |
| katz is all this going in the bryce harper post | |
| Can't even eat it in it's natural state | |
| WAIT | |
| We can't introduce temperature | |
| Samoas are the best. | |
| There are rules and order | |
| room temp thin mints are room temp garbage | |
| girl scout cookie longform | |
| Georgia knows what's up. | |
| Damn right Samoas are | |
| Also. | |
| Well then maybe you should have chimed in when the temperature question was asked | |
 | |
| #TeamSamoas | |
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| Girl scout cookie sandwiches are a thing, ok bye! | |
| I ... I think she just dropped the mic | |
| Oh snap Girl Scout Cookie Double Down | |
| next level | |
| have to make cfbot choose it's the only way | |
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| oh my god | |
5:40 PM | |
| I was going to say Thin Mints but now I'm captivated by the sandwich. | |
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Yeah, suddenly really difficult to concentrate. |
