Skip to main content
Come Fan with UsFriday, July 3, 2026

Ranking NBA team’s VOTE FOR OUR PLAYER campaigns

Buy some Big Al’s Paint and get your beard groomed.

It’s time for NBA teams to try to convince the media members who vote on awards that the player on their team is the only player deserving of votes! Their way of doing this, of course, is through clever gift packages.

Let us rank three of the packages that surfaced today, from best to worst.

1. Big Al’s Paint Company

The Bobcats think Al Jefferson should be on an All-NBA team, so they made him a website about his imaginary paint company. Because he plays in the paint.

It features painting tips:

And some paint swatches:

Swatches-big-al-4_medium

And there are a whole ton of paint puns and jokes, too.

This is the best VOTE 4 THIS GUY kit we’ll see this year for a few reasons: it’s not an obvious player, it required a lot of effort and attention to detail, and it’s reasonably silly. Applause, Bobcats, and may you use many a bucket from teal Big Al as you become the Hornets.

2. James Harden's beard grooming kit

Did you know James Harden has a beard?

I like this because I've been dissatisfied with the performance of my current beard trimmer and have been looking for updates. If a sports team sent me a beard grooming kit, I would put it to very good use. Also, because, yeah, beard grooming kit.

3. Dwight Howard's Superman kit

I don't like this for a few reasons:

First off, the Rockets are double-dipping for MVP votes. Harden is probably the more important player, but they’re diluting his MVP stream. Not that either has a chance in hell of being MVP over KD or LeBron, but, w/e.

Secondly, calling Dwight Howard “Superman” is a dumb thing that Dwight Howard wants us to do, and every person who agrees to call him “Superman” just validates it. This irks me.

Other than that, the things they gave out were neat!

See More: