Adult athlete receives birthday cake made out of Uncrustables

Sometimes, when you turn 26, you just need to put your foot down and say, “But Cooooooaaaaach, I don’t WANT crusts on my birthday caaaaaaake!” Well, Tony Sanchez, this is your lucky day.

Uncrustables, for those of you who don’t know, is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that has been stamped out in a factory and put in a cellophane bag because some kids are brats and their parents are at their wits’ end.