Thursday was Jewish Heritage Night for the Phillies, so IT’S TIME FOR THE PHILLIE PHANATIC TO HAVE A BAR MITZVAH (Via MLB.com).
The Phillie Phanatic had a bar mitzvah
He’s almost 40 years old, but still. PHANATIC BAR MITZVAH
Let’s do the hora!
As a Jew, I’m a tad perplexed, but I’m willing to examine:
ARGUMENTS AGAINST PHILLIE PHANATIC BEING JEWISH
- He was introduced in 1978, and therefore should’ve had his bar mitzvah in 1991
- most Jews are not green
ARGUMENTS FOR THE PHILLIE PHANATIC BEING JEWISH
- Head always covered
- Nose appears to be circumcised
However, as someone who claims any sort of person of barely Jewish descent, I’ll take it. The Phillie Phanatic is clearly a Jew, arguably the best Jewish baseball figure since Hank Greenberg.
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