Metta World Peace’s ‘new Chinese name’ will be great

Metta World Peace In China, a story in three acts.

Act I

A declining American basketball player signs a one-year contract with the Sichuan Blue Whales of the Chinese Basketball Association. This is not necessarily a novel thing, in itself.

Act II

But this declining American basketball player is not like other basketball players. He is different: he plays better defense, is significantly goofier in variously charming ways, many of which involve social media. He is, notably, prone to doing things like changing his name.

Act III

From China Daily (via Hardwood Paroxysm):

New high-profile import playing for Chinese basketball Association club Sichuan Blue Whales is known as Ron Artest but intends to change his name to “Panda Friend” in honor of his move to China.

World Peace, who is known in China as “Ci Shiping”, a literal translation of “Metta World Peace,” now plans to name himself after China’s giant panda, a precious animal based in Southwest China’s Sichuan province, where his new team is also based.

While the Blue Whales have only recently been promoted to the CBA from a lower league, the food in Sichuan is extremely delicious. (Ask Kevin Garnett!) And while there are few goofier animals on earth than the panda -- the list is basically manatees and Glen “Big Baby” Davis -- the name is appropriate given that the newly minted Panda Friend will be playing his home games near the renowned Chengdu Panda Base. Here is some footage of practice at Chengdu Panda Base:

Is changing his name to “Panda Friend” a strange thing for Metta World Peace to do? It would be a strange thing for, say, Kelsey Grammer to do, yes. But in the context of things that Metta World Peace does, not really. It is certainly far less dangerous or strange than willfully working with Nancy Grace or signing with the New York Knicks. We support Panda Friend in all his endeavors, as always. But maybe especially in this one.

We apologize for the confusion. There is only one panda friend, and it is the player formerly known as Metta World Peace.