Dang. The Internet is a bad place full of thirsty people. On Thursday, the Internet discovered Shawn Oakman, a 6-foot-9, 280-pound Baylor DE who looks like a created player from Breaking Madden.
Everyone on Twitter stole everyone’s Shawn Oakman jokes
For breakfast this morning Shawn Oakman had 3 human beings and a honeybun pic.twitter.com/ZzncEeKr41
— Sam Garrison (@gare_bear413) January 1, 2015 He was an instant hit.
smh 2015 we still stealing jokes for RTs: https://t.co/KD2HnOULjX, https://t.co/VjNTHzGcUO, https://t.co/xSEFKlrfRY, https://t.co/ggjSRYhitl
— alex (@steven_lebron) January 2, 2015 Chipotle: Guac is extra Him: No its not. Chipotle: Yes sir. pic.twitter.com/6hJ7JHu0It
— Jimbo Slice (@jimmy_marcum) January 2, 2015 Chipotle: "guac is extra" Shawn Oakman: no its not. "yea u right my bad" pic.twitter.com/yb3zae61oy
— papi marc (@MarcAnthony0313) January 2, 2015 Chipotle Employee: "Guac is extra is that o.." (Eye contact) Chipotle Employee: "Guac is free." pic.twitter.com/KHUUNWklNF
— Kori Ortiz (@kori_ortiz) January 2, 2015 This is a nuanced joke, but let’s try to understand it.
I think it’s that Chipotle, a popular fast-food burrito restaurant, normally charges more for guacamole. In this case, the Twitter user imagines Shawn Oakman — remember, all 280 pounds of him — insisting he not be charged extra. Given Oakman’s stature, the Chipotle employee has no choice but to agree.
The joke shows up endlessly on Twitter, with the phrasing or even the situation slightly transformed.
-______- https://t.co/uWHa7clMth
— Brian Floyd (@BrianMFloyd) January 2, 2015 Ref: Heads or Tails? Shawn Oakman: we're receiving. Ref: K pic.twitter.com/dKMDD5iref
— Michael Miguel (@MichaelFig4real) January 2, 2015 Ref: Heads or Tails Me: We won the game Ref: Yes sir pic.twitter.com/jY9vHxhy8d
— ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Shawn Oakman (@BruhShawnOakman) January 2, 2015 Ref: Heads or Tails, call it in the air Oakman: Tails *its a head* *stairs at ref* Ref: Baylor has won the toss pic.twitter.com/wmlKuiXekz
— Connor Vaughan (@C_Vaughan9) January 2, 2015 People on Twitter are desperate creatures who need retweets and favs to validate our existence. Pity us — and oh, it’s us.
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