While traveling the other week, a tweet I sent from the airport inadvertently started a debate over the merits of A.1. sauce. I’m usually of the belief that we all should be able to enjoy food the way we want. It drives my husband crazy whenever he slow cooks custardy scrambled eggs, only to have me top it with ketchup. I understand his pain, but we live in a country with freedoms, one of which is the right to top our food however we choose.
However, if you order a crappy airport steak, send it back because it’s medium-well and not medium, and then proceed to cover the replacement crappy steak with a half bottle of A.1., you should be reported to the TSA.
On to the questions.
Dear Sarah,
I attended a pivotal game in my favorite team’s current season wearing a new sweatshirt. Despite having had a miserable streak of luck lately, we won that game in a remarkable fashion. I am of course now obligated to wear this garment until we stop winning. That may be the next game, or it might not be, well, for quite some time. I am a lady, so I won’t admit to sweating, but my sweatshirt is emitting a slight odor after only one (intensely stressful) game.
I’m not an idiot. I am not asking you if I’m allowed to wash this sweatshirt free of both its funk and good fortune. However, I am wondering if tossing it in the dryer with a few strategically pinned dryer sheets would be an egregious error, or an acceptable risk.
Please advise.
Sincerely,
Anxious Fan
Most of us are rational humans who understand that a sweatshirt we wear in the stands has nothing to do with our favorite team’s performance. But that’s not how superstitions work, and I think you know that altering that sweatshirt’s karma at the hands of a few dryer sheets isn’t worth the risk. Don’t do it.
You can, however, spray the shit out of it with Febreze. I’m pretty sure the gods will allow it.
I’m thinking of going to NYC for my graduate studies, where would you recommend a good neighborhood to rent a place to stay? And what’s the best NY food that I have to try? Thanks for your answers!
Cheers!
Are you rich? I hope you’re rich. Like, really, super wealthy. I grew up just outside New York City and worked in Manhattan for much of my 20s. I love New York, but when you’re broke it does not love you back. That being said, it’s an amazing city if you can learn to love it. Pick a neighborhood close to school -- the East Village if you’re going to NYU, for instance. But be prepared for some culture shock if you’re not accustomed to city life.
Prepare for landlords who build a crappy wall in the middle of the living room of a one bedroom apartment, call it a three bedroom and rent it for $8,000 per month. You didn’t really want a living room, did you? Street noise leaking into your window all night, every night. Having to lug your laundry up five flights of stairs. Food is expensive and grocery stores aren’t always convenient. It’s loud, can be obnoxious and it smells funny to outsiders.
The pros: Tons of free things to do if you know where to look for them. People of every race, religion and cultural background sharing one city. Stumbling into a random bar in the East Village on a Tuesday and happening upon an amazing singer/songwriter doing a set. Being able to get a bacon, egg and cheese at 4 a.m. It’s loud, can be obnoxious and it smells funny to outsiders.
As for food, here are five dishes to get you started: The rotisserie duck at Momofuku Ssam Bar (get the pork buns, too), the burger from The Spotted Pig, the wings from Mission Chinese, the brussels sprout pizza from Motorino and the braised goat and massaman curry at Kin Shop.
Dear Sarah,
I am a happily partnered lady in a long-term relationship with a man in a long-term relationship with his favorite pair of jeans. He loves these jeans; he has a history with these jeans; they’ve been with him from the start, hid his guns from the narcs, etc. However, when he bends over, the plumber’s butt is so bad you can almost see his taint. I’ve told him that they don’t fit, but he just shrugs and wears them anyway. I’m philosophically opposed to spiriting away clothes in the laundry, and he’d notice the loss of his old friends, so I put it to you: is there any nice way to tell a man that you will not appear in public with him if he wears those damn pants again that actually will *work*? A not-nice way that works is also OK.
Men have attachments to certain items of clothing for a lot of reasons. Your man claims this is a sentimental attachment, but it sounds like it’s actual denial that those pants just don’t fit. What is unclear here, is whether they are too big or too small.
If they’re too small and he admits they don’t fit, then he’s saying goodbye to the fit specimen that he used to be. He’s giving up hope that those damn pants are ever going to fit him again. It’s a tough thing to admit. If they’re too big, don’t wait for him to buy a belt. Buy one for him and sew it to his pants so he has no choice but to use it.
If that doesn’t work, then the next time he wears the offending pants, wait for the full moon and take a picture. Wait until you get home and show him what the rest of the world sees. He may think that you’re exaggerating, but you can’t argue with unaltered pixels.
Also, I’m not sure if you have children but if you do, use them. Children learn acceptable social behaviors from their parents, and your man is potentially raising children who think dressing like this in public is OK. While the lesson “be true to yourself” is nice in theory, kids are mean and if your kids don’t get teased for their own clothes, they’ll get labeled as the kid in school with the creepy and inappropriate dad.
Do it for the children, guy with small pants. Do it for the children.
I’m a lifelong Cleveland sports fan. So naturally I’ve had my fair share of pain. But my roommate at school is a bandwagon fan (Steelers, Rays, Thunder, GS Warriors, UNC Tarheels, or anyone else that is good). He constantly trolls me about my teams. How do I combat this without just straight up calling him a douche?
If he’s consistently trolling you, then it sounds to me like he’s straight up begging you to call him a douche.
As far as fandom goes, it’s like anything else in life. We make our choices for our own reasons. Some of us foolishly remain loyal to teams that let us down year after year. It’s masochistic when you think about it -- we know that the chances of heartbreak are much higher than those of victory, yet we keep coming back for more.
Others choose a happier path, cheering for the team that excites them most at that moment. Your friend, who clearly prefers winners, may find your painful existence foolish and unnecessary. I’m not saying he’s right, but you can see where he might have a point. But think about this: Being a longtime fan of a team comes with camaraderie -- other fans that have history with the team with which you can commiserate. Being a bandwagon fan, while fun on the outside, is quite lonely. Have some patience with your sad, desperate friend.
See More:
