Are you there, Kogod? When do I bail on a team that’s dumping me?

Welcome to our inaugural “Are you there, Kogod? It’s me, idiot,” the Internet’s only advice column for sports fans.

Thank you to everyone who sent in a question. Email me at sarah.kogod@sbnation.com if you want to be included in next week’s. If you’re new, here’s an introductory Possibly Asked Questions.

Here we go:

Dear Sarah,

I’m a long-suffering fan of a professional sports team which last won a championship in 2000. I’m 29, so, proportionally that’s long suffering.

That team is likely moving away like a third-grade best friend at the end of this year, and my question is this: how do I transfer all my passion to someone else, and when is the right time?

Sincerely,

Frazzled Footballer

Let’s be real. We’re ALL long-suffering fans. Crying about a lack of championships isn’t going to make many people feel sorry for you. Unfortunately the Rams suck AND they’re leaving you. That’s pitiful.

Our love affair with our sports teams are just like any other relationship. Sometimes it’s forever, and sometimes you just have to move on. Take a year off, see what else is out there and go slowly. Don’t rush into things and make a bad decision. That’s how you end up a Jaguars fan. And if you do find another team, don’t be afraid to love again. It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Unless you’re a Jaguars fan.

***

Hi Sarah! My brother-in-law spent 10 years getting his doctorate and recently became employed. Lately he’s been obsessing over how much money I make. We’re close and hang out a lot -- but this is a regular question from him. I’ve tried saying I don’t like to talk about that stuff, but he keeps hammering on it.

How can I get him to stop without violating my feelings on talking about money? Should I just tell him to get it over with?

It sounds like your brother-in-law spent 10 years in school, graduated with crippling debt and is now wondering if it was all worth it. Perhaps he got a doctorate thinking he would immediately make six figures and was hit with a reality check. Or maybe he’s just competitive, measures self worth in dollars and wants to confirm that he is, in fact, better than you. Regardless, he’s clearly insecure about his own income.

That being said, it’s not your problem. Don’t feel bullied into telling him in order to get it over with. Try being direct: “I’m never going to tell you what I make, so stop asking.” If that doesn’t work, tell him you make $500,000 a year and watch his head explode.

***

How do you know when a woman is interested in you romantically? I tend to be a dense person who doesn’t get what people call “hints” about women, nor do I understand any of the male concepts of approaches that people keep telling me about.

There isn’t one universal social signal that will tell you someone is interested in you. Sexual expression differs from person to person. So here’s this: why does it matter? If you are interested in someone, ask them out. Stop trying to figure out if they’re interested in you first and just ask them to dinner, or to have coffee or drinks after work. The worst they can say is no, and that’s OK.

I get the desire to know if the feeling is mutual before putting yourself out there -- rejection isn’t fun. But if you spend your time worrying about “hints” or “approaches,” you’re going to miss out on a lot of experiences, both romantic and otherwise.

Try this: In the next month, find at least one person who interests you and ask them out. If you know them, try, “Hey, would you like to have dinner with me?” If it’s someone you just met, offer to buy them a drink. Email me at the end of the month and let me know how it goes.

***

I’m a male. Should I go tan before my spring break here in two weeks. I go to Indiana University so I’m pretty pale. Yay or nay?

I asked Houston Rockets guard Nick Johnson to answer this one: