There are a few things we know about Bill Belichick. For one, he’s one of the smartest coaches in football, and that’s led to him becoming a six-time Super Bowl champion throughout his career. He also doesn’t shop for groceries, for some reason. And he definitely does not like technology. He will happily admit he doesn’t use silly apps — like Twitter (real), “MyFace” (incorrect name), and “SnapFace” (also incorrect) — and we’ve seen him give up on a Microsoft Surface Pro.
Bill Belichick doesn’t know about ‘swagger’ or whatever you kids are up to these days
Photo by Tom Szczerbowski/Getty Images
He’s willfully ignoring life on the internet. So it probably shouldn’t come as a surprise when he says something outlandish, like this response to a question about advanced metric websites during Friday’s press conference, per NESN’s Zack Cox:
”What the hell is that? I mean, you can take those advanced websites and metric them in whatever you want. I don’t know. I have no idea. I’ve never looked at one. I wouldn’t even care to look at one. I don’t even care what they say.”
If Belichick was eternal emperor of a universe in a distant planet that looked a lot like Earth, this is how I would live: Every day I like to hop on FaceSpace, check the electronic mail, see if my friends are metric-ing the advanced websites with the selfie memes, and the MyGram filters. I don’t shop for groceries, because grocery stores don’t exist. We get our resources delivered by drones, which are actually just humans painted silver, and they drive boats, because it’s also Waterworld here.
Also, don’t ask Belichick about “swagger.” That’s not a word in his vocabulary (via Zack Cox):
“Yeah, I don’t really know what that means,” Belichick said. “So I can’t answer the question. We’re just trying to win games. We’re not trying to create — I don’t know what the identity is. The identity I’d like is a team that wins a lot of games, OK? We’ve had some of that around here, so I’ll take that rather than being known as this kind of team or that kind of team. I think if you’re a smart, tough football team that wins games, that’s what you want to be. The rest of it, I don’t really know what that means.”
But at least he kind of gets what “swagger” means? Kind of?
OK, maybe not.
