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Come Fan with UsSaturday, June 20, 2026

This Astros parade float wins the World Series of nightmares

HEEEEEEEELP

Houston, I’m very happy that your Astros won the World Series, and that y’all have a parade to celebrate it. It’s exciting to see your team flaunting the trophy around the city on team buses, to see confetti cover the skies, and to hear deafening roars from the crowd. But what the hell is this float?

Why does this thing exist? Whose idea was it to birth this nightmare fuel, and have it roam the streets of Houston in broad daylight? HOW DO WE KILL IT?!

Why does it look like the camp counselor from one of the Goosebumps books?

Scholastic

And yes, someone is definitely inside the mouth.

Here’s an alternate angle (an arguably even scarier angle) showing said person sitting inside, possibly singing or warning everyone that this head will haunt them while they sleep:

Again, Houston, I’m happy you won the World Series, but it would’ve been nice to get advance warning on this nightmare float from hell. No one is sleeping tonight.

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