One of the greatest things I have read this year came courtesy of Christi Rantis Lally, who shared what happened when she was accidentally added to a soccer mom group chat.
Woman gets accidentally added to soccer mom group chat and trolls them into self-destruction
DEAD!
James Dator has been covering a wide range of sports for SB Nation for over a decade, with a special focus on the NFL.
Some people might leave the group or inform people they had the wrong number, but Christi went above and beyond ...
I have so many questions about Coach Juan’s meeting. What happened that required a parent-wide meeting? Was there a falling out? Everyone seems to just acknowledge it, like they KNOW what happened and why it necessitated a meeting.
Christi was just there to start some shit, which she did so expertly.
What is this mysterious “village”? Is it THE Village from the M. Night Shyamalan movie? Shout out to the parent at the end who knows their kid is bad at soccer and is trying to justify it internally with “they’re just not getting enough playing time.”
Christi hits with the 1-2 combo of “participation trophies are bad” and “the snacks suck,” the latter of which is a serious body blow to the parent who brings the orange slices each week. Nobody thinks for a second this is a random person, instead they’re convinced it’s an angry parent in the club.
COACH JUAN IS IN THE CHAT!
Look at that block of text. Oh man, it’s brilliant. This person is so angry they’re pleading for Coach Juan to step in and do something — but their pleas are left unanswered.
Let’s pause for a second here and imagine the meeting with Coach Juan that takes place after this conversation. You KNOW there’s someone in the group they all assume is the person talking crap in the chat and denigrating the snacks. This person has no chance of ever convincing the group it wasn’t them.
Returning to the snacks is a pro-level callback that starts a whole new conversation where the parents are trying to guilt Christi into feeling bad she cares more about snack than her nonexistent child. Then someone takes the bait fully and wants to return to discussing the skill of the kids.
Christi’s logic is sound here: If you don’t know who the kid is then it’s impossible to name a superior child. It all checks out. No other kids on the Village team are better than hers, and if you can’t name one then it’s true.
This is the last image we get. Such a cliffhanger. What happened in the meeting? Did Coach Juan address the group messages? Did the snacks improve? We might never know, and that’s a shame — but some of the best stories have open endings, and that’ll have to do.
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