As they do each year, Game On! Minnesota released a video compiling all of the most ridiculous (or best) haircuts gracing Minnesota high school hockey this year.
These Minnesota high school hockey haircuts are so bad we had to rank them
Avert your eyes and call a stylist.
They call it the “All Hockey Hair Team,” and it’s incredible and disturbing. You probably thought you had a bad haircut in high school. This video might make you feel better about that.
But calling it the “All Hockey Hair Team” implies these are good haircuts. No.
They are bad. A blight on the gift of hair that humanity is endowed with. A waste of a blessing from the Hair Gods.
In that vain, we will rank the worst of these bad haircuts from worst to worst..est. Worsterest. Worster of the worsts. Help.
5. Bono
Seriously, Zachary Zemlak looks like the hockey version of early ’80s Bono.
4. OK
... maybe I’m just jealous.
3. Hockey-carved
If you kept a hockey helmet on for about seven months without taking it off, your hair would shape itself like that.
Tanner. The helmet needs to come off.
2. No
He wins points back for being named Dallas Duckson.
But no.
1. No, no, no, never, never, no, never
Collin saw Dallas Duckson’s haircut and thought, “how can I push this to the next level?” And here we are.
These are bad. But they’re admirably bad, at least. We salute you, Minnesota high school hockey, for your commitment to hair bits.
