On Tuesday, after Dirk Nowitzki reached and passed 30,000 points, I tweeted this.
Dirk Nowitzki has 30,000 points. Do you have 30,000 of anything?
I asked Twitter users what they had 30,000 of, and here’s what they said.
It was meant as a way to put Nowitzki’s incredible accomplishment into perspective, but Twitter quickly took it literally, too. There must have been a few 100 people who responded, when you count replies and quote tweets. Here’s what you all came up with.
The people who have tweeted 30,000 times
This was by far the most popular response. Congrats to everyone who uses Twitter way too much! (I have more than 30,000 tweets, too, so I’m not here to judge.)
BY FAR the most popular. There’s close to 100 more responses like this.
A few people who know their tweets are bad
One person who got beat by Dirk again
People who have $30,000 in student loan debt
Sorry, everyone. Best of luck to your financial futures! (Once again, there’s at least 50 more responses like this.)
People who Skip Bayless would be proud of
People who are literalists and have 30,000 very normal things
One high roller who’s buying us all dinner tonight
People who have 30,000 miles on their car
This might have been the third most popular answer, but it’s also the most boring so I’m only including two.
People who play A LOT of video games
There were also MANY people replying that they had more than 30,000 NBA 2K VC points.
One person who just wanted to roast the Los Angeles Chargers
AND HE’S RIGHT* hahahahahah Chargers hahahahahhahahaha (*until the new stadium opens)
Three people who joined in with Portuguese answers!!
The first one translates to “disappointments in life,” the second one didn’t translate well, and the third one is ... well, it’s inappropriate enough I’ll let you do it yourself. Still! Portugal, stand up!
People who have the sads :(
And we’ll even do a special category for “regrets”
I’m rooting for all y’all.
One person who wasted way too much time on an essay that had a flawed premise
One dude who is the cops
People with VERY RELATABLE PROBLEMS TO MY OWN LIFE
Steve, seriously, stop emailing his wife
People losing hair accessories
One woman who is single-handedly keeping alive the Tony Romo jersey economic market
One person who has clearly already set the Guinness world record
People who have eaten a LOT of food
One person who isn’t quite sure how anatomy works (I hope?)
Two Microsoft Office fans
Thanks, trillballins.
One person who is sincerely a really great parent!
One banana enthusiast
One person who surprisingly isn’t our NFL editor RVB
One person who kind of has 30,000 points if you don’t read this tweet too carefully
One person with a dated-but-still-funny joke format
SB Nation’s own Molly Podlesny, who sent 30,000 text messages in a month and deserves to be celebrated for it
This tweet, which makes no sense and yet I love it anyway
One person who is upset at the question
And finally, one person who HAD to be like this
Come on, man.
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