General Mills is releasing an all-marshmallow Lucky Charms and I want a box

Finally. An all-marshmallow cereal.

General Mills announced that they’re finally going to release the sugary delight of your dreams (or nightmares, if you care about cavities): a box of Lucky Charms with nothing but marshmallows.

There are a few caveats. You can’t just go to the supermarket and grab one. To get your hands on one of the 10,000 limited edition boxes, you have to buy other cereals with a specially marked box that has a code. You then enter that code in MarshmallowOnly.com and hope your 14-digit ticket is the winner.

It’s only a few extra steps to acquire these pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers but it sounds like a breakfast experience like no other.

The Lucky Charms Marshmallows box is the physical manifestation of every childhood fantasy that takes place in the morning just before school.

The begrudging realization that you have another day of school, maybe another exam on the way, just washed away when you stared at the cereal box and thought, “they should really just cut out the middle man here and give me all marshmallows.” Now it’s reality.

This cereal needs to have some sort of warning label that states it’s not intended for children. It should be for me, an adult who sometimes considers only ice cream for dinner. I’ve lived long enough to where I know good eating choices from bad ones, so I am consciously going to eat what I assume is the equivalent of spoonfuls of sugar. I will promise to go the gym for a few weeks thereafter.

Is this an unhealthy substitute for a real breakfast? Yes. Am I still going to eat it despite it potentially giving me a sugar rush so intense that the crash will have me under the covers trying to take a mid-afternoon nap to recuperate? You bet. You just have to take chances every now and then. In fact, I may as well eat several bowls in one sitting if I’m going to eat this to begin with.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go buy a few boxes of cereal.