This is one heck of a thought experiment we should work through together:
Who’d win a triple-threat cage match between the Harbaughs, Ryans, and Grudens?
James Dator has been covering a wide range of sports for SB Nation for over a decade, with a special focus on the NFL.
Jim and John Harbaugh
+ + Quicks minds.
+ Winning mentality
- John is a weak link.
- Jim has anger issues.
Rob and Rex Ryan
+ + Powerhouses.
+ Competitiveness.
+ Established teamwork.
- - Conditioning.
John and Jay Gruden
+ Youth.
- Experience.
- - - Jay Gruden being asked to fight.
How the fight would go down:
Jim Harbaugh is clearly the best athlete of the six competitors, but John really hurts his chances in the cage. There’s no way the Harbaughs win this one clean. It’s here where the difference between an MMA cage and a WWE cage is important. If it’s the former then the Ryans are all over them, but a WWE cage changes things a lot.
Firstly there would be more space to operate, which naturally hurts the Ryans conditioning. Secondly, Jim Harbaugh is definitely the guy who retrieves a sledgehammer in the middle of the match like Triple H and never gets caught.
The question is how you deal with these guys?
Kevin Hoffman-USA TODAY Sports
At some point we just need to call it like it is: The Ryans are big, scary men who will dominate the match. They’re the only dudes of the six who would walk into a WWE ring right now and make it work. They look like crab boat fishermen who love to fight. At the end of the day I have to assume this is an MMA cage, so there’s only one way it goes down.
There’s a reason I haven’t mentioned the Grudens — because they’d suck. Jay would run out of the cage as soon as the bell rung, and Jon would do his best to throw a punch and get obliterated by Rob Ryan.
Rob and Rex ultimately win by TKO.
Sorry, Jim, but you’ve got to go with the big men when everything is at a catch weight.
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