- Eat caviar.
- Sail a yacht.
- Rent an entire movie theater.
- Buy a Bugatti.
- Buy a second Bugatti.
- Determine if the meaning of life is, in fact, ball.
- Get Apple to give you an iPhone X before everyone else.
- Buy an orangutan, name it Dunston, rent a swanky hotel room, and see if he can check in.
- Go antiquing.
- Teach children the true meaning of couture.
- HOT DOGS FOR BREAKFAST!
- Learn the secrets the lamestream media doesn’t want you to know.
- Procure a nice hat.
- Buy three moon bounces.
- Dance like nobody’s watching but pay people to watch.
- Go to Gordon Ramsay’s restaurant and send the food back complaining “it’s raw.”
- Lay on a private beach and read a good book.
- Re-buy all the toys from his childhood on eBay.
- ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST!
- Start a YouTube channel where you review high-end vaping products.
- Pet a turtle, but like, a really old one.
- Charter an expedition to bring you spices the likes of which nobody has ever seen.
- Release an album of non-offensive beach tunes.
- Buy old Mr. McClosky’s house and save it from the airport who are claiming eminent domain to put in a fourth runway despite the regional government putting in a runway last year that isn’t used enough.
- Go to the ballet.
- Become a patron of the ballet.
- Buy a ballet.
- Buy 31 tiny houses and sleep in a different one every night.
- Trick AND Treat. Let nobody decide your destiny.
- Guest star on a sitcom.
- LASAGNA FOR BREAKFAST!
- Locally source salmon and run your own passionate-but-unprofitable smoking operation, but not care because you did it for the love, not the money.
- Watch City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold
- Find Curly’s gold.
- Find Billy Crystal’s career.
- Construct a really expensive Magic: The Gathering deck and just ROLL fools who turn up to FNM.
- Stock up on expensive cameras and lenses for his photography projects.
- Buy an abandoned warehouse, a fire extinguisher, and an office chair, and see if he can propel himself across the room.
- Buy four 8K televisions to see if he can make a 16K television.
- Hang out at a football stadium and play NBA 2K18 on the video board.
- Go camping on his private island.
- POUTINE FOR BREAKFAST!
- Test out expensive standing desks.
- Kickstart a better, safer version of Fyre Festival that doesn’t end up like hell on earth.
- Binge-watch the Despicable Me movies, including Minions in his home theater.
- Try to get his song with LeBron James released on a major label.
- Be a YouTube vlogger?
- Have his own cruise, à la Gronk’s Party Ship.
- Be the Batman.
- Or dive into a pool of radiation and possibly be Spiderman?
- Get into Bripe (a.k.a. brew pipe), which is just a fancier way of drinking coffee.
- Attach 20 drones to himself so he can fly.
- Eat a nice steak.
- Eat a nice steak, but sprinkled with truffles and gold flakes.
- Do literally anything but hang out on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat.
- Hang out on Myspace. [tumbleweeds]
- Buy 50 new phones to keep track of what people are saying about you on Twitter and respond ... oh crap.
57 rich people things Kevin Durant can do instead of arguing with strangers on social media
Kevin Durant might have fake accounts he uses just to argue with critics. He’s rich, and should do this stuff instead.
Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images
