A group of fired Cleveland Browns coaches decided to have an NFL Combine reunion, with a celebratory dinner in honor of their shared experience.
Fired Browns coaches threw a party for themselves at a restaurant called Rock Bottom
What an interesting turn of events.
James Dator has been covering a wide range of sports for SB Nation for over a decade, with a special focus on the NFL.
Everyone deserves a little catharsis — and what better way than to laugh at the failures of your old employer. To make matters even better, they picked the perfect restaurant to hold their party.
I get the joke, I dig the joke — but I think we can do one better for the former Browns coaches than a chain brewpub. The name makes sense, but we need something that individually speaks to their time with the team. So I have devised a five course tasting menu designed to appeal specifically to the pallets of men who have been broken.
Turkey jerky Amuse-bouche.
This pale red meat inspired by Brandon Weeden has been aged far too long and resembles the consistency of a baseball glove.
Oysters a la Cleveland.
A plate of between 0-16 west coast oysters, served unshucked and uncleaned — with barnacles attached. How fresh are the oysters? We don’t know!
Brady Quinn’s Irish-style beer cheese.
A ramekin of piping hot beer cheese is left in a green room for three hours (roughly 22 picks) before being served congealed and wanting. Mel Kiper insists it’s still good, and everyone not eating will regret passing on it.
Roll Tide tenderloin, aka “The Trent Richardson”
A once-prize piece of beef, this now over-tenderized steak has been marinating in Tide Pods for three years. Looks great on the menu. Utterly ruined when it arrives.
“The Jersey.”
Modeled after the infamous Cleveland Browns quarterback jersey, this two foot fruit rollup is flavored with anise and trash can water. Every serving contains three tears from a small baby who has never seen the Browns win a game.
