The 5 most amazing things from ESPN’s inside piece on the Browns

The Cleveland Browns are finally on an upswing after finishing 7-8-1 in 2018, but the ghosts of the past will continue to haunt the team. The latest example of “Browns gonna Brown” comes from ESPN’s Seth Wickersham, in an incredible breakdown of what was happening behind the scenes in Cleveland last year.

The article is set to run in ESPN The Magazine’s new issue, and is absolutely worth your time. These are the moments that leaped off the page to us.

Sure enough, Dee, with straight shoulder-length blond hair and an easy smile, explained that she and her husband were “still learning,” and she turned over the floor to Jimmy. Then, with white hair combed neatly and posture so perfect he looked like he was puffing out his chest, Jimmy once again pledged to “hire the right people.”

You know who gets to use this excuse? People who have been in a job for three months. Know who doesn’t? Owners who have been at the helm for SIX YEARS. The Haslams bought the Browns in 2012, and despite going through five coaches in this time they are still trying to play it off like “we’re getting settled.”

Keep in mind that Haslam was a minority owner of the Steelers before buying the Browns. He had infinitely more experience than most first-time NFL owners. To compare, the Browns went through five coaches with a combined record of 27-84-1, the Jaguars went 32-80 with three coaches, and Shad Khan was a first-time NFL owner with no prior experience.

Jackson asked why he was being fired.

The team quit on you, (GM John) Dorsey replied.

At the time, four of the eight Browns games had gone to overtime.

”Get the f--- out of my office,” Jackson said.

You can make a lot of jokes about Jackson (A LOT OF THEM, seriously), but the idea that the Browns quit on him is laughable. If you’ve seen a team quit on a coach they don’t go to overtime. Games aren’t even close.

The team was 2-5-1 when Jackson was fired, their margin of loss was 9.6 points on average, and three of those five losses were against teams that would go on to have winning records — two of which were in the playoffs.

Haslam held an all-staff meeting to announce the firings, the first time he used now-routine language about regime change, learning and hiring the right people. Before that meeting, Haslam dropped by Farmer’s office and told him he was being promoted to GM. At age 39, Farmer was suddenly the second-youngest GM in the league. Both Farmer and Pettine would report directly to Haslam. Farmer later told associates he was shocked.

He never interviewed for the job.

Ray Farmer was fired a year later.

Marketing executives wanted employees to see how fans were engaging with the Browns on social media, so they projected the Browns feed onto a giant wall at the facility. It was like broadcasting talk radio over the entire building, and one day in particular, it was worse than that. One of the marketing staffers entered a search for #dp -- for Dawg Pound. The problem was, that hashtag carried a few different meanings, one of which triggered an array of porn to be broadcast onto a wall for the entire office to see for more than 20 minutes, until a tech employee killed the feed.

Yeah, DP stands for “double” and a p-word involving sex you can probably imagine. This is the most Browns thing imaginable.

Today, Dorsey not only got his preferred coach but also his preferred structure. Kitchens will report to Dorsey, forcing collaboration and eliminating the appeals court to Haslam. Nobody knows if it will matter, given how Haslam operates. But for one day, at least, it feels good to be a Brown. As Dorsey privately told an associate: “I flexed my muscles and got what I wanted.”

Freddie Kitchens was hired in a very different way to past coaches. Rather than Haslam overriding the board or football minds in the building, this seems to be the first time in years where the team’s owner didn’t get in its way. Now time will tell who will be on the right side of history.