The Philadelphia Phillies have finished first in the NL East four years in a row. At first, you’d figure the achievement would be celebrated with loud words and alcohol, but Phillies fans are getting to be pretty experienced with all this, and with experience comes class and culture. And it is with that in mind that The Good Phight took this opportunity to riff on a little Ozymandias. As one is wont to do on such an occasion.
Phillies Fans Celebrate NL East Title By Channeling Percy Bysshe Shelley
I met a traveler from Pattinson Avenue
Who said: Four vast and guileless flags of cloth
Fly forever in the stadium. Near them, on the infield,
Half cuttered, a broken-off face lies, whose futile at-bat,
And frustrated scowl, and inability to hit bold command,
Tell that a hurler well the pitch counts read
Which yet dominate, stamped on lifeless leather, Chooch fingers,
The hand that mocked them, and the CGSHO that fed;
And on the flags these words appear:
"My name is Halladay, ace of aces:
Look upon my works, ye Cy Youngs, ye hitters, and despair!"
No outs beside remain. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, well fed and homeward bound
The lone and level stand(iing)s cheer loud away.
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