Jayson Stark has put together a pretty entertaining run-down of some of the strangest contract clauses in baseball. A few of my favorites:
Baseball’s Contract Writers Clearly Trying To Meet A Word Count Requirement
- Will Ohman will receive a bonus if he starts the All-Star Game (despite never having started a game in the major leagues)
- Six Pirates will receive bonuses for winning the World Series MVP award (unlike any Yankees)
- Adam Dunn gets $25,000 if he wins a Gold Glove (he's going to be a designated hitter)
These guys don’t figure to profit from such clauses. If you’re a baseball player, and you’re looking to sneak a clause or two into the contract, I’d like to suggest a few clauses that will actually make you money:
Derek Jeter: "$50,000 if you can snap the glove part off one of your Gold Gloves and actually use it to field during the 2011, and your fielding ability remains more or less the same."
Jeff Francoeur: "$20,000 in alien money if you reach so far out of the strike zone that you are sucked into another dimension and fall into an alien world where something called "alien money" is used as currency. You will need the alien money to be able to buy things (food, etc.)."
Jeff Conine: "$500,000 if you're still playing baseball. Are you still playing? Seems like if you are, you should probably get paid something for it. Wait, why am I even writing this contract? Am I high on doing drugs?"
Oliver Perez: "A million billion dollars for doing whatever you want whenever you want. If you ever happen to do something you don't feel like doing, this clause is null and void, but I guess you can just keep the money anyway. Also, here is my wallet."
Jim Thome: "$30,000 if you are roundly recognized as being a "dandy fellow" by someone who is saying the word "dandy" out loud for the first time in his or her life."
See More:
