Nolan Arenado made the best defensive play since ...

On a chilly evening, during a boring game that probably won’t mean anything by October, Nolan Arenado risked bones and internal organs to make one of the best catches you’ll ever see. Part of me is thankful you can watch it on a miniature phoneputer that you carry around in your pocket. Another part of me regrets that I can’t use every purple crayon in my box to describe it for a newspaper in 1910.

The video:

Oh, he snatched it out of the air with a whimsical violence and ... ostentatiously banged into the ... uh ... tarp and made a, you know, pulchritudinous catch, which ... look, just watch the video. I can’t describe it.

Here’s a picture:

Here’s a picture:

It was the best defensive play since ...

Ah. The question of the day. It’s time to dig through the best catches in recent memory and see just how far back we can go before we can all agree (or complain). We have to appreciate Arenado’s catch and rate it against other plays in the following categories on a scale from 1 to 10:

The degree of difficulty isn’t something that needs a lengthy definition -- did the player catch the ball real good-like and stuff? -- but elegance might. We’ve all seen brilliant catches that start with the fielder breaking the wrong way with his first step, or twisting around while the ball is in the air. Those are great, fun catches, but if there’s a possibility that another player could have made the same play, just less spectacularly, it gets dinged. It’s similar to the first one, but allows for more bias and subjectivity, so it stays. Possibility of personal harm includes, but is not limited to, fences, tarps, other fielders, fans, mascots, hot dog guns and moats. The game situation shouldn’t make or break a play in most cases, but it’s a dandy tiebreaker.

With the definitions out of the way, let’s get to rating Arenado:

It was insanely difficult, by virtue of having his back turned to the ball and running on a dead sprint. There was no hesitation from the moment the ball was struck, and Arenado even had the presence of mind to wing the ball to third, hoping to get the advancing runner. There was the possibility of personal harm, and the odds are fantastic that he’s walking with at least a slight hitch. The game situation was important -- the Giants had two on, no outs, in a 3-0 game -- but it was still a Giants-Rockies game in the middle of April, so it’s not going to compare well in that respect to, say, Endy Chavez robbing a home run in the NLCS.

Let’s go backward in time and see where the contenders are.

Aaaaaand we might not even get out of the 2015 season. You can make an argument that catch was superior. It has it on game situation, saving a walk-off grand slam in a game the Astros eventually won. Fences are stationary objects that can hurt, so it’s close to the tarp/stands that Arenado had to deal with.

The short argument: I would guess there are a dozen outfielders who could make that play given 10 chances, but I’m skeptical there’s another third baseman who could make Arenado’s given 100. Slamming into a fence, back-first, is impressive as all get out, but it’s not eating the popcorn of a stunned fan after bouncing off a tarp. You can disagree, and I will not find you silly.

If the play called correctly, the elegance moves up to a 9, with only the slightly high glove flip from Panik docking it a point. If you want to weight the game situation score to reflect the Game 7 of the World Series factor, you’re within your rights to do so. This is all subjective, here, with the only rules being that I’m right.

Oh, dear. I dinged Steven Souza a point on elegance because it was an imperfect route. A good one, possibly a great one, but one that required a last-second adjustment. I gave him a point back in the game situation category because, goodness, it was the last out of a no-hitter.

So this loses because of the personal-harm factor. Is that right? Feels like that shouldn’t be right. A great defensive play shouldn’t need someone to face a potential mangling. That, right there, was almost the perfect play in the perfect situation. You practice catches like it in your backyard growing up, but a billion cosmic tumblers need to click before someone even gets the chance.

If you eliminate the personal-harm category, this probably wins. You will not be judged if you do so.

Like, everything he does. He is a walking 10 in the first two categories, so let’s acknowledge him. He’s a better defender than, quite possibly, any baseball player to ever live, so how do you rate his extraordinary plays against other players? Just because he rarely gets a chance to run into a fence, he shouldn’t be mentioned? Seems silly.

In which I realize this idea is stupid and I’m stupid for thinking I can judge these plays against one another. That play didn’t come in a crucial spot in the season or the game. Other than running into a third base coach, there was no danger. It can’t be the most elegant play because it includes a bobble. This play is a contender because that’s the most ridiculous throw I can remember an infielder making.

These plays should not be judged against one another. I’m sorry. This is just defensive propaganda, a stirring fluff piece that reminds you that baseball can be beautiful. Show this to someone under 20 and remind them of the virtues of patiently waiting for the perfect moment.

(I still choose Arenado, possibly because I’m drunk on recency bias, possibly because I like DANGER. But this is an iconic play, and I’m conflicted.)

The closest contender in terms of genre. We have a brilliant defensive third baseman going back to make a catch and risking life and limb and knee and shoulder to fight with a tarp. It wasn’t a no-out, two-on situation, so it gets docked a fraction of a point. The real difference is that Josh Donaldson gets a chance to look where he is and gauge his spot on the field, even pausing one point before his final approach.

Gregor Blanco saved a perfect game. Manny Machado pump-faked Rich Thompson out of his helmet. Adam Eaton made one of the best catch-and-throw combos that you’ll ever see. But the play of the year was a unanimous one.

If I don’t cheat, Arenado takes it, which means the rating system was junk. Apologies. I had to cheat. Arenado’s play is more brilliant full speed. Trout’s is more brilliant in slow motion. I’ll cheat to let it win, though, because we have the limits of what a baseball player can do, provided the maximum amount of athleticism and tools.

Arenado’s catch was possibly the best since Trout’s. It was not superior, though. To be honest, I started with the headline, then realized I was hosed by the time I got to Souza. I’m all for using personal harm as a tiebreaker, but not as a requirement, so I think the situation -- especially that it was the last out of the no-hitter -- pushes it over the top. But once you add in the reckless abandon and heady post-collision throw, Arenado just might eclipse it. I can’t decide.

I’m sorry for pitting these against each other, and now I must shower. Here are some of the best defensive plays from the last three-plus seasons. Does Arenado’s rank up there with the best of them? There is no doubt, absolutely none. It might be the best of the bunch, or you might think it’s overrated compared to most of the ones up there. It’s a clear contender, though, and that’s praise enough. What an absurd, reckless, special, noteworthy play.