At least you'll die happy
11 outrageous ballpark foods that might kill you this season
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Fan v. Food Burger
Tampa Bay RaysA four pound burger with two eight 8-ounce patties and eight slices of cheese. Oh, and 32 slices of bacon. It's called Fan vs. Food as if there were some chance of Fan ever winning this battle.
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The Walk Off
Baltimore OriolesA sausage wrapped in a pretzel roll covered in crab dip. If you need a steak knife and fork to eat it, it's not proper ballpark food. Also, handing out steak knives to drunk sports fans probably isn't the best idea.
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Pulled Pork Mac 'n Jack Sausage
Kansas City RoyalsPepperjack sausage topped with pulled pork, spiral mac and cheese and bacon crumbles on a bun. There's no chance that bun holds up for more than 30 seconds.
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The College Daze Bloody Mary
Minnesota TwinsA bloody mary with a slice of pizza in it and a beer back. According to the Twins, this bloody mary will bring back college memories. If they really wanted to bring back college memories, they'd leave that pizza sitting in a box on the counter for a few days before sticking it into a red solo cup of warm Natty Light. And it sure as hell wouldn't cost $19.
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Chicken and Waffle Cone
Houston AstrosYour chicken and mashed potatoes are now portable thanks to this handy waffle cone. I'd mess with it. The honey mustard topping is suspect, though.
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Totally Rossome
Texas RangersA one pound 24-inch hot dog topped with smoked brisket, fresh pico, sour cream and crunchy Nacho Cheese Doritos. Because it's classy like that.
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Dixie Dog
Atlanta BravesA footlong all-beef hot dog flash-fried, topped with a mustard-based barbecue sauce, pulled pork, coleslaw, and pickles. Lose the hot dog and you're onto something.
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The Brunch Burger
Pittsburgh PiratesA burger with cheddar cheese, fried egg and bacon with a sprinkled glazed donut for a bun. Just like the pirates of yore used to eat.
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Meat lovers hot dog
Cincinnati RedsA quarter-pound, deep fried hot dog topped with chili, pepper jack cheese, and fried salami. Random beef parts topped with random pork parts. Yum.
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Pulled pork parfait
Milwaukee BrewersPulled pork and mashed potatoes layered parfait-style, topped with chives. Because fruit and yogurt is for pansies.
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Rocky Mountain Oysters
Colorado RockiesDeep-fried bull or bison testicles. Don't try this at home. Actually, don't try this ever.
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