Jason Kipnis eats corndogs with a knife and fork. Really.

By all accounts Jason Kipnis is a nice person who is good at playing the game of baseball. His offensive output is down slightly this season but he’s still hit eight homers and driven in 26 runs at the break and is a solid veteran leader for Cleveland.

Despite all these things in his favor, the man is also astonishingly bad at eating corndogs.

In a wide-ranging conversation with the Cleveland Scene, Kipnis talked through how he wrote his recent Players Tribune piece, last year’s low attendance problems in Cleveland, and even reminisced about his ugly ankle injury just before the World Series got going.

But lost in all of those very worthy topics is a reveal that should shake anyone to their core: Kipnis eats a corndog with a knife and fork. The article casually tosses off this detail while discussing Kipnis’ close friendship with teammate Lonnie Chisenhall and what he does in his off days. Which apparently includes consuming one of the best fried foods this country has to offer with utensils like a mad man.

“They had an off day yesterday, the third in a week or so after going 20 games without a break. Kipnis spent the last one with Lonnie Chisenhall — his best friend on the team and a guy he calls, with or without baseball, a friend for life — in Chisenhall’s backyard with his two kids. “I’m Uncle Jason,” he says while noshing on a corndog, which would be unremarkable except he’s eating it with a fork and knife despite the dish’s built-in utensil.”

It’s pure insanity, flagrantly shunning the stick that is literally cooked into the product and is working hard to make it your snacking experience as easy and utensil-free as possible. That stick has a job, which was just carelessly outsourced to a fork and a knife who probably don’t need the extra work right now. The stick economy is rough — popsicles, corndogs, kebobs, and that’s pretty much it — and if people just go around eating corndogs with forks and knives without a care in the world how will sticks support their families?

Kipnis did try to defend his actions on Twitter after the article posted, but we see right through that.

If there were a lot of messy toppings, simply angle the corndog in a manner where the toppings don’t slide off. Nothing in the fictitious Articles of Eating Corndogs Properly says that you absolutely must eat a corndog in a perfectly vertical position. This isn’t rocket science, just tilt that thing horizontally and have a lot of napkins handy for backup. Anything is better than bringing utensils into the equation.