Jose Altuve finally hit his first home run of the season, that slouch

It took him more than 100 at bats to get there, but incredible slacker Jose Altuve finally hit his first home run of the 2018 season in a win over the Angels on Wednesday afternoon. Clearly unwilling to contribute to his team’s offense before today, his home run count for the year is now at one.

Altuve looked miserable after the home run, because he’s such a slouch that he wanted to wait until at least mid-May or even June to hit a dinger. And definitely not one at home either, no sense in making the home fans happy on top of helping the team.

What a selfish guy, really ...

... okay I’m done now. Altuve did finally hit his first homer of the year. It did take him reaching triple-digit at bats to get it done, but that slump was never going to last forever and Houston is still sitting pretty at 17-9 even without Altuve slugging away at the plate. (He was hitting .333 with four doubles before today. He’s just fine)

The look on his face after he returned to the dugout though ... that was where the truly magical payoff lay. Of course, his teammates celebrated exactly as you’d expect: with the silent treatment. But Altuve owned the hell out of this silent treatme

If that mood could be bottled I would pay at least 58 American dollars to own it. I mean ... THE FACE ALONE.

Altuve talked after the game about how good it felt to get the first home run off his chest and that he didn’t expect the silent treatment for that situation.

Besides Altuve’s excitement, the best part of the day might have been post-game when Astros manager A.J. Hinch admitted he didn’t even know who organized this particular silent treatment but that he participated because you can’t not participate when it’s a team tradition.

A.J. Hinch, easily persuaded and susceptible to baseball tradition peer pressure. Good thing to note for the future when the team wants him to dress up in Orbit’s suit to celebrate them clinching the playoffs or some such.