The Yankees slept in Dulles Airport last night after being stranded in D.C.

Well the first question here is who dibbs’d the shoe shine chairs or the pay-by-the-minute massage chairs to get the best night’s sleep?

After a dreadful road trip in Washington — where one game was called in the sixth inning due to rain and postponed until Wednesday, only for both that game and Wednesday’s original night game to also be rained out — the Yankees were apparently forced to sleep in Dulles Airport that night instead of flying directly to Kansas City.

According to Newsday, the Yankees’ trip to Kansas City was thwarted by the weather and a problem with the plane and then their bad luck continued when there were no available hotels in Washington D.C. in which to spend the night. So they just bucked up and slept in the terminal.

Putting aside the fact that it’s amazing a professional baseball team was forced to do their best impression of 20-year-old me and sleep haphazardly in a random airport for a night, the logistics of this are delightful to think about. Just think about the ways this could have gone down.

Which player claimed the chairs the furthest away from the Hudson News? Did Gleyber Torres sprint down the concourse to claim the comfortable massage chairs near the Starbucks for a good night’s sleep and prime coffee-buying positioning when morning came?

Take it a step further and were some players building a fort in the corner with all of the blankets Hudson News had in stock while the elder statesmen commandeered the one gate with no passengers waiting in it so they could actually get some sleep and stay away from the kids staying up until all hours? Tell me you can’t picture Old Man Gardner laying there at 2 a.m., grumbling about how his top-of-the-line noise-canceling headphones aren’t completely shutting out Didi Gregorius’ laugh.

Plus, was Aaron Boone just being team parent during this entire escapade? Just walking around like your dad chaperoning a school trip, buying everyone pizza and and telling the class clowns to quiet down because they’re bothering the other guests. Making sure the reason that Aaron Judge and Gary Sanchez bought a bag full of Mentos isn’t so they can put it in a bottle of Coke in the men’s bathroom and see what happens.

The article also mentions some players slept on the plane, which opens up a whole line of inquiry about which players got there first and then locked everyone else out so they could form a secret club with a cool handshake and a catch phrase.

None of this probably happened — although hopefully everyone did some stretching when they got to their hotel in KC this morning — but it’s fun to think about.