Mound Visits: Christian Yelich’s reign of terror against Reds pitching is awe inspiring

Welcome to Mound Visits, your recap of the best things you might have missed in baseball every week. This will be the last Mound Visits of the season, with one more column next week to wrap up this whole season.

So there was a rat in the dugout at Fenway Park this week, and the Mets really didn’t like it. It was pretty funny watching them freak out ... OK, enough with this. You know what we’re really here for, the biggest thing that happened in the Red Sox orbit this week.

BANNER BOYS.

First of all, if you haven’t seen this video, please watch it.

For a quick recap of what went down:

Just a legendary news cycle.

Welcome to the Ump Show! Tonight’s feature presentation will be Laz Diaz screaming his head off at Bryce Harper in the outfield for no apparent reason, and Harper responding by subtle adjusting his crotch. Tickets are free.

So chill.

... my goodness, Russ.

The Mets’ David Wright got a nice goodbye gift from his longtime friend and fellow veteran player Dustin Pedroia. When the Mets visited Fenway this week, Pedey gave Wright a No. 5 panel from the scoreboard as a retirement gift. But Wright was the one who gave us a true gift, with this tidbit about Pedroia’s smack talk.

Bless them both.

Besides the rats and the gifts at Fenway, there was also some sincere feelings we should get to. Because sometimes sincerity in sports is nice. First, Noah Syndergaard was genuinely awed by Fenway and that’s really sweet.

Second, Mets and Red Sox fans banded together to boo the Yankees together and that’s also really sweet.

Listen, I’m not saying everyone has to hate the Yankees. Or even have a reason for doing so! But if you’d like one, and haven’t figured out what yours is yet, may I suggest the fact that apparently the large majority of the team prefers American cheese over all of the other cheese out there to choose from?

And that they feel comfortable saying that in public?

With no shame?

This is the Brewers’ offense against the Reds this season: They’re batting .276/.337.467 with an .805 OPS, and 97 runs scored against Cincinnati pitching. That’s 42 more than the next NL team on the list. They beat up on them all year. Pretty badly.

Now, here’s what Christian Yelich did to the Reds this year: Batting .482/.532/1.018 with a 1.550 OPS in 14 games. Plus seven home runs, only six walks, and two cycles. OH GOD, MY GOD, THERE’S CINCINNATI BLOOD EVERYWHERE.

Yelich became the first player to ever have two cycles against the same team in one season. It’s not exactly less impressive because he did that against Reds pitching, but, boy howdy, the Reds might want to reassess some things next year. It’s amazing enough for someone to put this thought out in the world.

This is now all I want to happen.

Want a horrifying mental image of plague-like conditions in St. Louis?

There’s probably nothing that could make that at all fun to think about ...

... Wait.

I. STAND. CORRECTED.

Puig had a truly Puig week. As usual, we are blessed to have him. This is the kind of team banter you can usually only wish for from baseball players.

And then, of course, Puig did this. PUIG, YOUR BAT FLIP KING.

Tebow will be returning to the Mets organization next season because apparently the cash cow is still producing milk in the minor leagues. He only hit .273/.336/.399 with six home runs and 36 RBIs in 84 games in Double A this year and will start next season with Triple A Syracuse.

Sigh.

Sigh, sigh, sigh.

Me: beach balls at baseball games are kind of pointless and annoying unless they’re pissing off the relievers warming up in the bullpen.

Also me: LOOK AT THIS FUN WATERMELON. I WANT ONE.