After yesterday's conflicting reports on Tony Parker and Eva Longoria, we now have confirmation that the NBA's most beloved couple is, in fact, getting a divorce. From Eva herself:
Tony Parker And Eva Longoria: Really Getting Divorced, And The Spurs Are A Desperate Housewives Episode
It is with great sadness that after 7 years together, Tony and I have decided to divorce. We love each other deeply and pray for each other’s happiness.
And hey, it’s none of our business as to what might have sparked the split. It’s times like this when we typically see the worst of gossip culture rise to the surface. It’s gross, offensive and--wait, WHAT?
From People Magazine:
Eva Longoria found hundreds of text messages to the NBA star’s phone from the wife of one of his teammates.
WHOA. WHOA WHOA WHOA.
WHOA #1: The obvious... Tony Parker was maybe sleeping with a teammate’s wife.
WHOA #2: Eva Longoria couldn’t keep him satisfied?
WHOA #3: It sounds like the teammate in question (now retired) was Brent Barry.
WHOA #4: Brent Barry’s wife is... WHOA. How did Brent Barry end up with her?
WHOA #5: This is all happening to the San Antonio Spurs. Weren't they supposed to be the model for teamwork and intangibles? ... At this point, can anyone say for sure that Manu Ginobili is NOT the father of Bruce Bowen's children? Tiago Splitter's clearly the new gardener, right? The one that doesn't speak a word of english, but drives all the wives crazy. And Tony Parker... Seriously?
But then, as idyllic as the San Antonio Spurs may seem, we should have known. It’s 2010, and if nothing else, Mad Men has taught us that the shiniest facades are always the most misleading. Is Tony Parker going to go on a shameless bender now, like Don Draper? It’s all such a shame. Everybody wants to be the guy from Big Love, but they always end up like the guy from Louie, divorced, old, and irrationally bitter.
But when we’re talking about Modern Family in the NBA, this is par for the course. Time and again, The Good Wife gets screwed and ends up In Treatment. Because all the Brothers and Sisters want to head to Cougar Town these days. You think NBA players aren’t impressed by how good Mary Louise Parker looks on Weeds? Even if it means getting a Burn Notice from an NBA groupie or Delonte explaining to LeBron How I Met Your Mother, NBA players just can’t help themselves.
It’s only a matter of time before it happens to the Two and a Half Men in Miami.
But for now, we have today’s news. The star of Desperate Housewives caught her husband cheating with a co-worker’s wife? Of course she did. It’s 2010, and the only thing we love more than gossip is reality TV.
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