The Cool Girl speech in ‘Gone Girl’ was about Chandler Parsons

Good morning. Let’s basketball.

COME ON AND SLAM: LeBron signed a production deal with Warner Bros., which has everyone praying that means a Space Jam sequel is on deck. I vote that we heckle LeBron by sing-yelling “COME ON AND SLAM IF YOU WANT TO JAM” at him mercilessly until he agrees to beat the Mon-Stars’ asses.

THE SPURS’ HIDDEN COST: Satchel Price on the depth San Antonio conceded to secure LaMarcus Aldridge.

OKAY: Mark Cuban compared DeAndre Jordan choosing the Clippers over the Mavericks to “make-up sex,” the idea being that it was exciting to go back to something familiar but he’ll get sick of Chris Paul and the gang soon enough for all of the same reasons he got sick of Chris Paul before. If we really want to extend this free agency-as-sex analogy -- something I’m very hesitant to do okay that’s a lie let’s gooo -- wouldn’t Jordan’s fling with Chandler Parsons and Dallas be a fling that Jordan eventually realized was not what he wanted or needed? It was very, very exciting for a few moments and then he saw some fatal flaw and went crawling back to the mate who helped him reach his best? Basically, Chandler Parsons was DeAndre Jordan’s rebound hookup and Chris Paul is his soulmate. You can fight with your soulmate. Can you move in with your rebound hookup? That’s the key philosophical question.

BY THE WAY: I’m going to start finding it increasingly difficult to pay attention to someone who was also cast as the President in Sharknado 3.

ENOUGH OF ALL THAT: Lee Jenkins on DeAndre Jordan. Enough said.

YES: Michael Powell of the New York Times on the arena scam.

HEADS UP: The NBA made some changes to its League Pass offerings, including the long-desired option to sign up for one team’s games. That’ll set you back $119, or about $1.50 per game.

NO HAIR DYE: Kudos to Cuttino Mobley for not attempting to hide his age (39). He can still ball, too.

DO THEY GIVE AWARDS FOR ART? This pushpin Boris Diaw piece deserves some sort of trophy.

KEEP ON SWIMMIN’: Justin Dentmon was the best player at Summer League. He is 29 years old.

Happy Thursday. See you next time.