LeBron’s Banana Boat Crew is in total crisis

Good morning. Let’s basketball.

MEET THE ALL-STARS: The NBA All-Star reserves were announced Thursday night, with just one shocker: DeAndre Jordan was named to the West team over Chris Paul (who would be replaced due to injury anyway), Damian Lillard, Mike Conley and Rudy Gobert. Coaches love them some DeAndre Jordan, I guess! Gordon Hayward is the West’s other first-time All-Star, and the other reserves in that conference include Boogie Cousins, Russell Westbrook, Klay Thompson, Draymond Green and Marc Gasol.

In the East, Paul Millsap and Paul George made it over Joel Embiid (who responded with a killer joke) and Kristaps Porzingis. Also making the squad were Isaiah Thomas, Kyle Lowry, John Wall, Kevin Love and first-timer Kemba Walker. (Paul Flannery wrote a great case for Kemba before the announcements were out.)

Here’s our list of biggest snubs. There are no obvious injury replacements yet. Lillard is the first player to miss the All-Star Game while averaging 25 points per game in two straight years.

Notably, LeBron will be the only member of the Banana Boat Crew to play in the All-Star Game this year for the first time ever. He’s always had at least one of Dwyane Wade, Carmelo Anthony or CP3. Not this time. King James isn’t getting old yet, but his friends sure are.

THE BOOGIE CHRONICLES: Just a stellar exploration on the subject of DeMarcus Cousins and the Sacramento Kings by Kevin Arnovitz. A tour de force, really.

WELPVILLE, ILLINOIS: A day after D-Wade and Jimmy Butler ripped unnamed teammates, Rajon Rondo laced into the pair in a long Instagram message talking up Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce. Things in Chicago are officially BAD, y’all.

MELODRAMA II IS OFFICIALLY HERE: Reports suggest the Knicks are “determined” to trade Carmelo. He has a no-trade clause. That’s a different mechanism than what let him torture the Nuggets with in trade talks back in 2010 and early 2011, but it’s a mechanism with which to torture the Knicks all the same. He’s apparently considering how to proceed.

SCORES GALORE ...

Mavericks 98, Thunder 109
Pacers 109, Wolves 103
Suns 120, Nuggets 127
Lakers 88, Jazz 96

MEANWHILE, IN CLEVELAND ... LeBron is reportedly at odds with Dan Gilbert over the pursestrings. We all know what happened the last time LeBron thought his team’s owner was being cheap, right?

I KANTER BELIEVE THIS: Enes Kanter punched a chair, broke his forearm and will miss time.

LOADED QUESTION: Kevin Pelton on the potential for new mega-contracts to turn into burdens.

OUR HERO: Loren Chen is a member of Basketball Twitter and multiple-episode Jeopardy! champion. But he wants to make sure that his game show success doesn’t distract you from the fact that the Warriors’ blew a 3-1 lead in the NBA Finals despite going 73-9 in the regular season.

SELL YOURSELF: The case for a team to hire Nate Robinson, as explained by Nate Robinson.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VINCE! Vince Carter turned 40 on Thursday. You can trace him back to the founding of the NBA in five players.

COME ON, FIBA: The push to end FIBA’s ban on religious headgear is getting louder.

NEXT UP: ESPN has Rockets-Sixers on Friday at 8 p.m. ET. ABC’s Saturday night game is Clippers-Warriors (8:30 p.m. ET), which certainly takes a lesser tone with Chris Paul out. The Sunday ABC matinee should be fun: Thunder-Cavaliers at 3:30 p.m. ET. Later on Sunday NBA TV has a double-header: Wizards-Pelicans at 6 p.m. ET followed by Warriors-Blazers at 9.

AND FINALLY: Dion Waiters was telling reporters how he embraced high-pressure situations, and prepared to share one of his favorite quotes about such opportunities ... but then forgot the quote. Oh man, Dion.

Be excellent to each other.