All the sports things in Drake’s oversized mansion, rated

Drake has a monstrosity of a 50,000-square-foot home in Toronto that includes a ridiculous full-sized basketball court, 3,200-square-foot master bedroom, two-story closet and full basketball jersey showcase. I guess a mansion that size can fit all the teams he roots for?

Drake’s oversized home has a lot of fancy stuff that I don’t really care about. You can read all about it in Architectural Digest’s feature. I just wanna talk about the sports stuff.

Drake’s court has the signature owl logo of his recording label, October’s Very Own, a full shot clock and scoreboard, and a center-court couch-bench. (Finally, a court with a built-in place to sleep. If you look closely, you can see Jimmy Butler next to his 3:30 a.m. alarm.) The arena is a dark blue themed rectangular-shaped haven that’s autographed as “The Sanctuary,” and dons a 21-square-foot pyramidal skylight.

Would Kawhi Leonard have changed his mind if he knew this was available in Toronto? Makes you think.

Rating: 8/10

Why: Having a court in your own home is every basketball player’s dream, even Drake, the rapper who horrifically air-balled a three-pointer in a Kentucky warm-up. Aesthetically, this court is gorgeous. But it isn’t self-branded enough. I see the owls, but where is the Wildcats logo? And Raptors logo? And picture of Kevin Durant? And Devin Booker? And Liz Cambage? And DeMarcus Cousins? And Zion Williamson? Also, where’s the Raptors championship banner?

Yes, Drake does have a jersey hall to pay tribute to all of the legends who he’s stanned. We’re only given a slim glimpse down the hallway, but we see he has Miami Heat and Cleveland Cavaliers LeBron James jerseys, two Kobe Bryant jerseys, a Dennis Rodman jersey and an Emmitt Smith jersey. They’re tucked away neatly behind glass walls. Ominously, there’s a glass-covered table with more jerseys that aren’t visible from the picture looming at the end of the hall.

This is painfully Drake.

Rating: 4/10

Why: This is so tacky and unnecessary, but how was Drake ever going to resist? If anyone talks to Drake, please ask him what other jerseys he has hung up. Dying to know if Fred VanVleet (rightfully) made it.

Yeah, Drake’s got a two-story closet to put all his fits and jewelry and shoes in. In it, according to Architectural Digest, he’s got “amethyst hardware, rock crystal, and seating upholstered in diamond-tufted shearling with polished nickel studs.”

It’s the most.

Rating: 6/10

Why: There’s way too much happening inside here and it’s very dramatic. I do like that there’s a little couch in there, though. I need a nap thinking about all those shoes.

In conclusion, I would live in Drake’s house and accept an invitation to ball on that court. Just don’t make me do the TikTok dance song.