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Come Fan with UsSunday, June 21, 2026

Man Makes It Into Michigan Stadium With Two Assault Rifles. It’s Cool.

The University of Michigan’s defensive issues extend far beyond the football field. A National Guardsman managed to make it into Michigan Stadium on Saturday and get to field level with two unloaded M-16s before a member of the color guard reported him to security. The man cooperated and was escorted off the field without incident, and despite what you may think when you hear “bro with two M-16s on the field without permission,” you should relax. They’ve got this:

Diane Brown, a spokeswoman for the university’s department of public safety, told WJBK-TV that school officials do not believe anything was done “incorrectly or improperly by police in any of the checkpoints.”

Except the part where a man with two assault rifles was allowed to get on the field without authorization. Other than that, everything’s fine. The man claimed he meant no harm, but wanted to attend the game and had no ticket. What having not one, but two assault rifles had to do with this is unclear, but if Michigan fans are that casual about assault rifles--“Is it loaded? No big deal, then.”--then Michigan Stadium is closer to Detroit in both the geographical and spiritual sense than we previously thought.

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