Now's our chance, America. We can harness ESPN college football analyst Craig James' powers for good. Simply vote the former SMU Mustangs running back into the United States Senate, then steer him toward foreign dictators with whom our government is less than impressed. Arm him with a public relations firm and some YouTube spammers, and then watch his talents at getting people fired or suspended do the rest.
Craig James Running For U.S. Senate, Thursday Night Football Rendered Whoopless
@gromerjeffers Former SMU standout and ESPN personality Craig James will file in Texas for the Republican U.S. Senate primary by end of day Thursday.
The further upside, of course, is that watching Thursday night ACC games on ESPN will mean experimenting with all-new communal signals, as FIRE CRAIG JAMES will no longer have anything to do with sports. VOTE CRAIG JAMES OUT OF OFFICE is entirely too long to function as a useful Twitter hashtag anyway.
Once he does declare for President, here’s hoping he takes along Mike Patrick as his running mate instead of Rece Davis. You’ll kindly leave us to enjoy our Rece, Mr. James.
It’s a pretty good day in America, you guys.
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