The 2012 SEC Football Schedule Released, Now Everyone Freak Out

A few instant reactions looking at the 2012 SEC Football Schedule, now featuring 14 teams and PAIN. Lots and lots of pain.

1. The power of prayer has never been scientifically confirmed, but if you want evidence start with Georgia’s schedule. The clear winner in conference realignment is Mark Richt’s net worth, as contract bonuses are guaranteed with UGA’s breezy conference draw.

The Dawgs miss LSU and Alabama, and pull the derelict shell of the Ole Miss football program instead from the West. Their toughest road game is South Carolina, and even that traditional early matchup has been moved back to give some proper warmup time for the Bulldogs.

1a. This means UGA will be favored to win the SEC East, and thus will not win the SEC East.

2. The other winner is Vandy, who might very well compete for an SEC East title with an easy draw missing the twin beasts of LSU and Alabama, and moving the South Carolina game up to an August 30th opener. The road games are lovely: at Georgia (who they’ve done well against,) and then a three game breeze through Mizzou, Ole Miss, and Kentucky.

3. Ole Miss is going to die. You already knew that because they are Ole Miss coming out of a Houston Nutt coma, but they’re going to die twice, and possibly three or four times. The standard SEC West schedule is bad enough, but the road schedule is as follows: at Alabama, Arkansas, LSU, and Georgia. Ole Miss fans are the only ones today who can legitimately claim that the SEC hates them, because they clearly do.

4. The new roommates? They get to sleep in the basement, though it’s not clear which one gets the worst of living arrangements. Texas A&M is a clear leader because of the burlier SEC West schedule and a guest spot in College Station by Florida, but Mizzou gets road trips to see the Gators, Tennessee, and then finishes with a trip to see fellow pledges the Aggies in College Station. It’s ugly in all directions, but it may be a little worse on the Aggies side since they have to play both LSU and Alabama, two games that will end in tears and expensive medical treatments.

5. Twin pillars of conference standard-bearing Alabama and LSU get fair hands dealt to them by the robodealer at SEC headquarters, with Alabama being the only other team besides Florida with a chance to personally welcome Mizzou and Texas A&M to the league. Alabama’s personal welcomes are vigorous hugs of the throat applied with both hands, often accompanied by repeated violent headbutts. You’ll get used to them.