Arkansas State Bedeviled By New Wave Of NCAA Sanctions

Today’s edition of NCAA Vigilante Ownage comes to you courtesy of ... the Arkansas State Red Wolves! The university has already been fined and is now facing a two-year probationary period thanks to multiple violations by the football, baseball, men’s basketball, and women’s soccer teams over a four-year period (2005-2009). Infractions include “ineligible participation and extra benefits, a failure to monitor the eligibility-certification process, and unethical conduct involving academic fraud,” which tells you it was pretty great to be an Arkansas State Indian back in aught-six (this was just before the NCAA-mandated mascot name change*). As a result of those shenanigans, Arky State’s six-win 2006 season will be vacated. Our sincere congratulations to Tennessee-Martin, Florida International, Louisiana Lafayette, Florida Atlantic, Troy, and North Texas for the new, nebulous holes in their W-L record.
*A process in which the school selfishly refused to adopt as their new mascot the Arkansas State Flat Alluvials, Arkansas State Allemand Lefts, or Arkansas State Vine-Ripe Pink Tomatoes, despite our repeated demands.