College Football Funhouse: Your Spelling Appalls Bob Stoops

A is for Anhedonia. Do you find yourself no longer enjoying the things that used to give you pleasure? Do you find yourself feeling listless at the end of your work day?

Do you sometimes explode with anger for no reason?

SportsGrid’s list of the best signs from this weekend’s College GameDay includes this, which falls short of #FireCraigJames but still pleases the eye (also, just to the left, there’s James’ face again -- I’m sure that sign was much more complimentary):

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Via Oklahoma Sooners blog Crimson And Cream Machine:

It was only a matter of time before this happened. We know how bad Pac-12 Big East refs have been, and at some point they were going to forget which teams belong to their own conference. But still, it doesn’t make it any less funny when the referee announces proudly that South Carolina recovered a fumble in a game between Southern California and Syracuse.

This was just the beginning of a bad night for the official, who stumbled through his assignment with plenty of comical errors.

The best part: the field goal was good.

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↵Just put Gus in a control room and let him call every game, ever. He can handle it and we’ll all benefit from it.

Photo via @AKuperstein:

photo contains sports joke

Ohio State can’t throw the ball. This is not an exaggeration, either. The Buckeyes simply cannot connect on the forward pass, and have instead resorted to some old-timey, single wing football that just leaves the pass out of the offense. And yet, the Buckeyes are still kind of in the game, trailing Miami 17-6.

Adam Jacobi crunched the numbers and came up with OH NO TAKE IT AWAY TAKE IT AWAY.

Ever wonder what a quarterback thinks when they’re about to get hammered by a large defensive lineman? Thanks to a well-placed microphone, now you can find out. North Texas quarterback Derek Thompson knew he was about to take a painful shot from a rather large Alabama defensive tackle, and all he could do was shout an expletive.

It was truly a wonderful moment in sport. Video after the jump.

Duke beat Boston College, which is funny, but I have no idea what’s going on here. Maybe you do? Give it your best shot:

Texas is playing in UCLA right now. I think I can count 23 Bruins fans in this photo of the crowd:

by Harry How, Getty Images:

The young college football season has been rich with creative special teams disasters. Here we see Miami (Ohio)‘s kicker boot the ball despite it being in mid-fall from the tee.

GIF via @bubbaprog:

There is one thing you can say for Clemson coach Dabo Swinney after today’s win over Auburn at Death Valley: The man never gives a boring interview.

Which is kind of understandable when you come from behind 21-7 to defeat the defending national champions and snap a lengthy winning streak. But Mr. Swinney gives interesting interviews when he’s tied, as well. In fact, they’re a barometer of sorts. First, the halftime interview when his team is in a dogfight:

For more Hawkeyes, head to Iowa blog Black Heart Gold Pants.

By Streeter Lecka, Getty Images:

Ole Miss is losing to Vanderbilt, a fall tradition unlike any other at this point, and yes, three interceptions from your quarterback including a pick six will put you in a 23-0 hole against the SEC’s perennial geeky bottom-feeder. This gif, though, really sums up how things have gone for Ole Miss today in a single, hilarious image.

Put some Pit Bull behind it and watch it with a refreshing Dr. Pepper for maximum effect:

Everybody should have learned by now that you always respect the other team’s logo when you’re on the road. You never stomp on it. In fact, your best option is probably to just leave it alone.

Houston Nutt, what are you doing? Wait, no, don’t --

You should f-----’ go to West Virginia blog Smoking Musket and Maryland blog Testudo Times.

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↵Typo humor and auto-correct humor are usually the worst kinds of humor, but this one is fantastic.

Saturday, ESPN aired a fan-made sign at College GameDay bearing the following text: “#FIRECRAIGJAMES #REMEMBERTHEFIVE.” The sign references popular ESPN college football color commentator Craig James, who’s been on fire lately, and the five or probably way more records he broke while starring as a student-athlete at SMU.

It definitely should not be read as a call for James’ employer, ESPN, to fire him for his role in using the network to get his son’s football coach fired for no good reason. Nor should you assume the latter hashtag refers to a widely debunked Internet rumor that Craig James murdered five hookers while starring as a student-athlete at SMU.

Starkville has cowbells. You should understand that the cowbell is an instrument of nuance. In full throat, it sounds like you are sitting beneath a cascade of ladles raining down on an immense steel-plated floor. This can last for up to a minute, and when it catches the roof of the pressbox and rolls into your ears it will leave them ringing.

The last song in that list was cranked without shame before the opening kickoff. The crowd cloinked along with each “WHO? WHOWHOWHO?” The Miss State players hopped in unison and pointed left, then right with the song’s chorus, and for an instant you sort of forgot yourself for a moment, and forgot that this song was eleven years old, and that everyone was hopping up and down in a self-described cow town in Mississippi like it was the first time it had ever frazzled a pair of speakers.

Mississippi State fans, you are in spectacular form tonight. Below the jump you’ll find a photograph of a shirt bearing a bit of risque humor! in reference to Houston Nutt, the coach of MSU’s in-state rival, Ole Miss. Mississippi State is not playing Houston Nutt’s team tonight. Starkville isn’t going out of its way to make sense right now, and that’s wonderful.

Via @bubbaprog after having been spotted by everyone all at once (click image to better appreciate):

Learning isn’t only for the class room. Educators both progressive and classical have emphasized the value of gaining knowledge from life itself, and not just professors and books. So when it was announced that Mississippi State University would cancel its Thursday classes in advance of an intercollegiate athletics contest against student-athlete representatives from Louisiana State University, you shouldn’t have feared that learning would fall by the wayside for the evening.

In fact, while preparing for festivities, one student was given the challenge of altering a confounding word puzzle into a sentence. Success: