“Shutdown Fullback” realizes college football isn’t the most important sport going on right now. We know what is the most important sport right now, however. And that sport is pro wrestling.
Watch ‘Shutdown Fullback’, The Rasslin’ Episode!
It’s spring, which means a very important sport that’s not college football is swinging into gear. That’s right! The world’s longest running college football show is venturing into America’s pastime, pro wrestling.Follow @SBNationCFB
What follows is a visual guide to hating your school’s new conference rivals, a brief history of the XFL, your weekly Nick Saban, the top 25 most pro wrestling football coaches of all time ALONG WITH their pro wrestling counterparts -- Mike Leach is Bret Hart, via the Montreal Screw Job, and I can’t believe we didn’t include this -- and so forth.
All featuring actual pro wrestlers, live in our basement. Special thanks to Jon and Trey Williams, Atlanta’s finest tag team.
Hailing from parts unknown, this is “Shutdown Fullback” -- followed by the top 25 reasons Ric Flair and Lou Holtz are the same person:
And now, the top 25 reasons Ric Flair and Lou Holtz are the same person.
- That hair. Not only are both men blond, they've been that particular strain of old-man blond for decades now.
- That diction. No two men have done more to make lisps matter.
- Let's be honest. If pro wrestling were college football, Ric Flair definitely would've assisted in getting Notre Dame placed on probation.
- He also would've helped get South Carolina placed on probation.
- Probably Minnesota, too.
- Speaking of Carolina, Flair is from Charlotte, while Holtz's first major head coaching job was at N.C. State.
- Was each man enshrined in his respective Hall of Fame in 2008? Each man was.
- Holtz feuds with Mark May every week. Surely one of Flair's many rivals reminds you of Mark May.
- Holtz coached at Notre Dame, home of the Four Horsemen? Flair was a member.
- Flair is the limousine-ridin', jet-flyin', kiss-stealin', wheelin', dealin' son of a gun? Holtz coached the Jets.
- Holtz once hollered, "Woo Pig Sooie," as Arkansas head coach, while Flair makes the most of only the first syllable.
- Flair may be the best mic man in wrestling history, but Holtz knows his way around a quote too.
- Flair briefly played football on scholarship at Minnesota. As alluded to, Holtz coached at Minnesota.
- Flair thus attended a Big Ten school, bewilderingly, as did Holtz, who earned a Master's from Iowa.
- Holtz took his first head coaching job in 1969, the same year Flair completed his first year as a wrestler.
- Both retired in the mid-'90s only to return a couple years later.
- Each has retired multiple times, now that you mention it.
- Holtz secured the college football title belt in 1988. Flair was the NWA World Heavyweight Champion at the time.
- Holtz was in charge of South Carolina during the great Clemson brawl of 2004. Flair was a WWE World Tag Team Champion at the time.
- Each has a son who's taken up the family trade. We've just compared Skip Holtz to David Flair. Thanks for reading!
- A Tennessee fan once drove Holtz to the brink of violence by stealing his hat. The Tennessee Titans drove Flair to recording this.
- Both are noted Republicans.
- They've both stumped for the same direct sales outfit and have both played golf with Hootie & The Blowfish. Just lumping together all the actual things they have in common into one bullet, if that's all right.
- Flair once managed the Big Show, who's from South Carolina (Holtz coached there!) and now lives in Tampa (Holtz's son coaches there!). Really should've capped this at 24.
- Holtz may lack Flair's flair, but the men still share an affection for costumes:
See More:
