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Come Fan with UsFriday, July 3, 2026

Denard Robinson Thinks He’s Faster Than Usain Bolt, Is Delusional

Bill Hanstock
Bill Hanstock is a writer, author and Emmy Award-winning producer. He began writing for SB Nation in 2011.

The Michigan Wolverines are quite fond of their quarterback Denard Robinson, who is gearing up for the 2012 college football season and might just enter the Heisman Trophy conversation by the end of the year. It’s easy to see why they love him when he makes endearing, adorable comments like, “I could outrun Usain Bolt.”

Dave Hogg of FOX Sports Detroit reports that Robinson has a fighting chance at out-sprinting the world’s fastest man.

“I’ve watched him run, and I’m pretty sure I can beat him in a 40-yard dash,” Robinson said at Michigan’s media day on Sunday. “I’d get a better start, and I could take him.

“At 60 yards, I’d be in trouble, and at 100 meters, he’d be gone, but I could get him in a 40.”

That’s ... that’s kind of silly. Makes you wonder what else he thinks he can do. Here’s a list!

"Things I Can Probably Do, by Denard 'Rad Passer' Robinson, Age 21"

- Hug the Earth’s sun

- Get one of those 2015 Sports Almanacs

- Punch someone with a building

- Drink a mess of lava

- Rassle a Wookiee

- Lead the Cubs to a World Series win (pitching every game)

- Make a milkshake so big even I couldn’t finish it

For all news and information regarding the Michigan Wolverines, please visit Maize n Brew or head on over to SB Nation Detroit.

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