A woman pulled up at an Indianapolis stoplight when she began to feel threatened. A man, soaking wet and shirtless, was approaching her car and looking to get inside. That man was an professional football player. The Indianapolis Colts' punter, Pat McAfee, to be exact.
The Colts’ Pat McAfee Is Quite Literally A Liquored Up Kicker
When police arrived on the scene they found a man ... sitting on the corner of Broad Ripple and College Avenue with no shirt and soaking wet. [Police] asked McAfee if he had been swimming in the canal that runs through the city. McAfee responded that he wasn’t sure. When asked how he had gotten wet, McAfee responded that “it was raining.”
Police then asked McAfee how much he had to drink, at which point he responded “a lot cause I am drunk.” He then asked “does that mean I cannot walk home?”
What’s the best part of this story?
That McAfee was all alone and piss drunk at 5 a.m. on a Wednesday? Because that seems sort of perfect for a punter. That he made the textbook drunk decision to swim in freezing cold water? Or maybe it’s his explanation for being wet—because, you know, it wasn’t raining.
Then again, it’s also pretty great that this comes less than a week after our Colts blog wrote a lengthy post explaining that Pat McAfee is not a “liquored up” kicker like Mike Vanderjagt and past Indy hooligans. Um... Awkward.
Anyways, it’s tough to choose a favorite. One thing’s for sure, though.
That’s the best answer EVER to a police officer asking “How much have you had to drink?”
“A lot cause I am drunk.” Just outstanding.
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