Randy Moss Waived By The Vikings, And There Is Officially No Santa Claus

Nov 1, 2010, 7:43 PM UTC

When Randy Moss joined the Vikings a few weeks ago, I reacted like a kid that'd just stumbled onto definitive proof that Santa Claus exists. It gave us an excuse to dream up a storybook ending for the ages. In hindsight, it's all horrifying. Travel with me back to October 6th, and let's relive Randy Moss Returns To The Vikings, And The Circle Of Life Is Complete. (Kill me).

As I wrote then, "with Moss going back to Minnesota, it's not that crazy to think he can do something really, really special for this Vikings team. ... He hasn't played with a solid running game since his first few years in Minnesota, so having Adrian Peterson around should do wonders for freeing up Moss over the top. And if Moss' presence shot Welker into the Pro Bowl, imagine what Percy Harvin might do."

And now it’s all over: A month into his comeback in Minnesota, he’s done with the Vikings.

All that hope--that Moss would prove the Patriots wrong, that he'd lead a renaissance in Minnesota, that this would be the story of 2010--it was all consciously far-fetched. But God. Who knew he wouldn't last a month?

(cringe)

“With the team that first made him famous, on an offense that should be pretty terrifying, back in purple, back on turf... Something tells me it won’t be long before Moss captures our imagination all over again.”

(literally typing from the fetal position)

Maybe he should go play with Allen Iverson in Turkey. Maybe he should go join Mike Vick, so that those two can fail together and crush my dreams just a little more. Maybe he should go back to New England, proving the Bill Belichick controls the universe, and the rest of us are just hapless, naive bystanders. Whatever happens, I’ll be upstairs in my room, trying to process (another) loss of sports fan’s innocence.

Santa Claus doesn’t exist, and the dream is dead in Minnesota. Aren’t sports fun?!