Sorry, I’ve been waiting for like six weeks to use that headline in combination with the photo. We’re not actually going to discuss the Buffalo Bills this week, because that would just be cruel.
NFL Buffet, Week 10: Should Buffalo Bills Fans Just Set Themselves On Fire?
The menu for Week 10 leaves a lot to be desired. Patriots-Steelers looks tasty, and we’ll always eat whatever Gus Johnson’s cooking, but beyond that, it’s slim pickings this week. On the bright side, the Buffalo Bills might win a game!
I mean... Didn’t you see how we jinxed the Patriots last week?
Buffalo doesn’t need anything else working against them this weekend. Let’s get right to it.
GIVE ME A HEAPING HELPING
Texans at Jaguars
Blogs: Battle Red Blog and Big Cat Country
Line: Texans by 1.5
Announcers (CBS): Gus Johnson, Steve Tasker
Deciding Factor: GUS JOHNSON!!!
Hard-Hitting Analysis: How many terrible games must Gus Johnson salvage before we just start watching every game he announces? I mean... The Texans and Jaguars aren’t great, but they both have enough playmakers to create some fireworks, and Gus is there, so...
There will be fireworks.
Titans at Dolphins
Blogs: Music City Miracles and The Phinsider
Line: Titans by 2
Announcers (CBS): Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts
Deciding Factor: Will Randy Moss injure Chris Johnson by taking plays off?
Hard-Hitting Analysis: It will be fun to watch the Titans for the next eight weeks, because win or lose, it’s pretty much a guarantee that Randy Moss, Chris Johnson, and Vince Young will keep things more interesting than 90% of any other game you could watch. It’s enough to make this weekend’s Miami game a can’t-miss affair, and that’s saying something. Chad Pennington, Ronnie Brown, Brian Hartline... Win or lose, watching the Dolphins makes me sad.
Patriots at Steelers
Blogs: Pats Pulpit and Behind The Steel Curtain
Line: Steelers by 4.5
Announcers (NBC): Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth
Deciding Factor: Are either of these teams any good?
Hard-Hitting Analysis: In a week full of forgettable games, this one is really the only game that matters. Sunday night will tell us a lot about the AFC hierarchy as we hit the home stretch in 2010.
And am I rooting for Ben Roethlisberg to make it to the Super Bowl?
Well, it would certainly be an opportune time to write about what a horrible person he is.
I’LL HAVE A SCOOP OF THAT, PLEASE
Jets at Browns
Blogs: Gang Green Nation and Dawgs By Nature
Line: Jets by 3
Announcers (CBS): Jim Nantz and Phil Simms
Deciding Factor: Browns-Jets is one of the best games this week. Get your act together, NFL.
Hard-Hitting Analysis: And as far as New York’s considered, this team’s following the same trajectory as last year’s squad. In other words, they don’t appear good, but they keep winning, and... All I’m saying is, when you look up in two months and Mark Sanchez is playing in the AFC Championship game, don’t be too surprised.
Eagles at Redskins
Blogs: Bleeding Green Nation and Hogs Haven
Line: Eagles by 3
Announcers (ESPN): Ron Jaworski, Jon Gruden, and Mike Tirico
Deciding Factor: Should I attend this game in person?
Hard-Hitting Analysis: At this point, going to Redskins games is more trouble than it’s worth, especially if it’s a Monday Night game and I won’t make it back home until 1 a.m. Having said that... Michael Vick is the most exciting player in the entire league, and watching him humiliate the Redskins, with Donovan McNabb looking constipated on the opposing sidelines, that’s probably too much to pass up.
So I guess what I’m saying is, if you have an extra ticket, hit me up.
I’LL TASTE IT FIRST...
Vikings at Bears
Blogs: The Daily Norseman and Windy City Gridiron
Line: Vikings by 1.5
Announcers (FOX): Kenny Albert, Daryl Johnston, Tony Siragusa
Deciding Factor: Which of these teams is less awful?
Hard-Hitting Analysis: Katie Baker is straight up my favorite writer on the internet, and yesterday she took over the Jamboroo at Deadspin and did a great job. So we’ll cede the floor for a second:
I’m torn here. Normally I’d be wishing Favre some contrarian success. But in this case, that actually plays into the hands of people like Bob Costas, who I’m pretty sure referred to Favre as “heroic” last week during the Sunday Night Football halftime show. On the other hand, the Vikings are like the world’s most delicate ecosystem right now. If Favre tanks, Childress will get fired, and then we’ll all be deprived of one of the most openly contentious and unintentionally magnificent player-coach dynamics of all time. So, I don’t know.
Bengals at Colts
Blogs: Cincy Jungle and Stampede Blue
Line: Colts by 7
Announcers (CBS): Greg Gumbel, Dan Dierdorf
Deciding Factor: Peyton Manning and Carson Palmer: Who ya got?
Hard-Hitting Analysis: Like five years ago, that would have been a semi-legitimate question.
Rams at 49ers
Blogs: Turf Show Times and Niners Nation
Line: 49ers by 6
Announcers (FOX): Sam Rosen, Tim Ryan
Deciding Factor: Poor Sam Rosen. Sure, she’s a little bit famous, and she broke the gender barrier in NFL announcing, but imagine how much it would suck if your job was to travel from coast-to-coast covering the absolute worst game the NFC has to offer each weekend. Nobody said the revolution would be easy, but DAMN.
Hard-Hitting Analysis: Sam Bradford has been quietly competent all year long, and this feels like a good opportunity for him to explode for like 280 yards, 3 TD’s, and no picks. His rise to the top just feels inevitable, ya know? Like the opposite of Alex Smith.
DON’T KNOW ... SMELLS KINDA FUNNY ...
Seahawks at Cardinals
Blogs: Field Gulls and Revenge of the Birds
Line: Cardinals by 3
Announcers (FOX): Thom Brennaman and Brian Billick
Deciding Factor: Screw it, I’m not even going to pretend to care.
Hard-Hitting Analysis: Did you hear that Shyne is an orthodox Jew now?
Chiefs at Broncos
Blogs: Arrowhead Pride and Mile High Report
Line: Chiefs by 1
Announcers (CBS): Kevin Harlan, Solomon Wilcotts
Deciding Factor: Kevin Harlan goes from announcing Heat-Celtics to... This.
Hard-Hitting Analysis: But just about every Chiefs game has been exciting this year, so I guess this could be entertaining... Maybe? A little bit?
Panthers at Bucs
Blogs: Cat Scratch Reader and Bucs Nation
Line: Bucs by 6.5
Announcers (FOX): Dick Stockton, Charles Davis
Deciding Factor: If the Bucs (5-3) are for real, they’ll blow Carolina out of the water.
Hard-Hitting Analysis: But are the Bucs (5-3) really for real?
NO THANKS, PLATE’S FULL
Cowboys at Giants
Blogs: Blogging The Boys and Big Blue Review
Line: Giants by 14
Announcers (FOX): Joe Buck, Troy Aikman
Deciding Factor: The Cowboys look like the worst team in the NFL at this point, but with the coaching change, maybe they’ll shock the world this weekend. Lord knows the Giants are ripe for a reality check.
Hard-Hitting Analysis: But either way, we’re talking about Eli Manning, Jon Kitna, Joe Buck, Jason Garrett... There are a lot of reasons to not watch this game, and it’s hard to think of one good reason to check it out. And yet, it’s on National TV, with Fox’s A-List announcing team, and we’ll all be asked to pretend it means something. Personally, I’ll be napping.
Lions at Bills
Blogs: Pride of Detroit and Buffalo Rumblings
Line: Bills by 3
Announcers (FOX): Ron Pitts, John Lynch
Deciding Factor: Can Buffalo win a game this season?
Hard-Hitting Analysis: As good as the Lions have looked in defeat this season, they’re still the Lions, and each week, they find a new way to lose to all these good teams. Really, no different than the Bills this year. So, do you believe in Ryan Fitzpatrick? I believe in Ryan Fitzpatrick.
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