Machiavellian” is typically a word reserved for A.) Mark Zuckerberg’s conduct during the early days of Facebook, or B.) Tupac Shakur’s conduct during the mid-90s. But now, thanks to one columnist at NFL.com, we can add new character to the play. That’s right, folks. Say hello to the bad guy.
Inside The Jaguars’ ‘Machiavellian’ Scheme To Take Over The NFL
You may have noticed during Sunday’s Jaguars-Saints game that the arrows on Jacksonville’s field were pointing the wrong way. Here’s photo evidence.
And here’s Dan Haznus with a reaction at NFL.com:
The Jacksonville Jaguars, apparently abandoning hope that their indifferent fan base can provide a traditional home-field advantage, appear to have resorted to, um, more experimental methods.
As you probably know from every field, on every level, in every league (even the XFL!) in the history of the sport, the arrows are supposed to point toward the nearest end zone. Call us cynics, but we don’t believe this was some accident by a bumbling grounds-crew intern. Something Machiavellian was at play in Jacksonville.
Was he serious? Was it just bad sarcasm? It’s hard to tell, honestly. For the record, it’s unclear how arrows pointing the wrong direction have any impact on the game whatsoever. You probably didn’t even realize those arrows existed until we told you they were pointing the wrong direction.
But that’s beside the point. Between the article above and his apparently ability to defy his critics, we’re may as well go ahead and embrace Jack Del Rio as the NFL’s modern-day Machiavelli. Or Makavelli, maybe. Haters better recognize. “Picture Me Rollin In Teal”:
Picture me rollin with a career that never ends,
Flossin with a team in green and no fans,
Media got me under surveillance, swear the owners be tellin,
When will I leave when will I go? Ask Jags fans, they all wanna know,
I’m just a local ce-leb-rity, smokin on chronic leaves, goin six and ten with such ease...“My Ambitionz As A Jaguar”:
So many football field scars, this life as a Jaguar,
It’s nothin if not hard, goddamn we need a star,
But my attitude is f**t it, play rough and rugged,
maybe trade for Tebow, cause the motherf***ers love it,
To be a soldier, must maintain composure and ease,
or play the Colts at home, and only lose by three,
Then we spit game to the press, go to the telly ho’,
My Jags are up and comin’, if you didn’t know,
We smokin bomb ass cigars and feelin crucial,
fans hate us, and trust, the feelin’s mutual,
But we on a third place mission in front of millions,
The competition got me blitzed, so yeah we take a sack.
Then pull a late December upset, and guess who’s comin back,
You can’t killlllll me, don’t even waste a shot,
Titans better fall back, we got third place on lock.
My Ambitions as a Jaguar!
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