By my count, there have been 10 NFL teams this season who have been presented with significant issues at the quarterback position. Seven of them are located either in the AFC West or AFC South. Outside of the Titans and the relatively stable Matt Hasselbeck, the teams in these two divisions have suffered calamity behind center.
Where QBs Are Destroyed: The Wilderness Of The AFC South And West
Plenty of NFL teams have suffered from quarterback issues this season. Strangely, almost all of them are either in the AFC West, or the AFC South. Here, we go to the charts and try to figure out what the Hell is happening.
Even more remarkably, each brand of misery is a different one. One lost a franchise quarterback to injury. Another lost an elite quarterback to mediocrity. Another is led by a third-stringer, and still another pulled off the exotically rare: a mid-season acquisition of a household-name quarterback.
In order to track the quarterbacking trajectories of these teams, I’ve graphed the week-by-week passer ratings of all eight South and West teams. (Passer ratings are certainly not the definitive measure of a quarterback’s effectiveness, of course, but they’re a solid enough indicator.)
Here are a bunch of really sad stories. Enjoy!
1. Franchise Quarterback Injured, Celebrity Backup In
In his fifth year as the Texans' starting quarterback, Matt Schaub was assembling yet another solid season. Even after losing marquee receiver Andre Johnson to injury, Schaub made the most of his other targets -- including the versatile Arian Foster -- and led Houston to a 7-3 record and a two-game lead in the South.
And then came Sunday, when Schaub sustained an injury that will likely keep him out for the rest of the year. The Texans still appear likely to reach the playoffs for the first time in their 10-year history, but Matt Leinart is chaperoning the rest of the field trip.
Leinart, the Heisman winner once assumed to be the Cardinals' quarterback of the future, left Arizona after assembling a 70.8 career passer rating. He hasn't thrown a pass in a regular-season NFL game in nearly two years. This doesn't suggest good things, but Leinart does have an opportunity to operate within a new offensive system.
While Schaub’s injury is what medical professionals refer to as a “real bummer,” the Texans’ quarterback situation certainly isn’t as bad as some of those below.
2. Aging Veteran Quarterback Makes Good
For the last three years, running back Chris Johnson has served not only as the centerpiece of the Titans' offense, but as one of the very best backs in the league. Suddenly, at the young age of 26, Johnson is perhaps the least effective primary back in the NFL. Further complicating offensive matters, receiver Kenny Britt has been lost for the season to injury.
And yet, the Titans have managed to keep their heads above water, thanks in part to the usually-dependable play of 36-year-old quarterback Matt Hasselbeck, who was acquired over the off-season.
Of the entire AFC West and AFC South combined, this is the only team with a steady situation at quarterback. Were we not living in a bizarro universe, Peyton Manning's Colts would be trying to fend off Matt Schaub's Texans, and the Titans would be hanging out in the cellar with the Jaguars. But we are, and the Titans still have a shot at winning the South.
3. Ineffective Quarterback Benched In Favor Of Younger Ineffective Quarterback
"Blaine Gabbert." That is the most backup quarterback name of all time, and yet here he is in a starting role. He got that way after Luke McCown, the Jaguars' starter to open the season, was absolutely taken to the shed against the Jets in Week 2.
Gabbert, as it turns out, is not terribly good either -- his 63.6 passer rating is one of the worst in football. At age 22, Gabbert has more upside than McCown, but quarterbacks with a bright future ahead of them usually exhibit a little more promise in the early going. Hopefully, with the help of a relatively soft remaining schedule, he can finish with some half-decent numbers.
The Jaguars should keep in mind, though, that quarterbacks with backuppy names like Blaine Gabbert don’t just go on trees, and that the decision to waste them in a starting role should not be taken lightly.
4. Legendary Quarterback Falls Into A Well And Is Replaced By Fragile Veteran, Who Is Replaced By Career Backup
There isn't much left to say about how bad the 0-10 Colts are, so let's try to say something nice: Curtis Painter, an eternal backup that the Colts were so hesitant to start that they signed a retired 38-year-old quarterback, has been somewhere north of abysmal.
If football teams were big-box electronics retailers, the Colts would be the Circuit City out by the mall that has been repurposed as a Halloween miscellanea outlet. Curtis Painter has lost every week, but he’s still out there hawking those plastic jack-o-lanterns and out-of-zeitgeist Borat costumes, and sometimes he even sells a few.
Well, he did in October, anyway.
5. Injured Quarterback Replaced Mid-Season With High-Profile Quarterback
Jason Campbell is not a great quarterback, but with an annual passer rating that has deviated by a margin of precisely 2.2 over the past four seasons, he's as consistent as they come. When the Raiders lost him to injury for the rest of the season, something happened that may have never happened in the league before, at least not to my recollection.
That something was acquiring a not-old, high-profile quarterback in the middle of the season, thanks to Carson Palmer's unique circumstances. Granted, his statistical performance hasn't quite been commensurate with his name recognition in recent years -- indeed, his numbers since 2007 are actually pretty middle-of-the-road, or worse -- but it's still the fun sort of front-office decision that fans enjoy cooking up.
In his Oakland debut, Carson Palmer completed only eight passes, was intercepted three times, and was shut out for only the second time in his career. With little time to get comfortable with his new offensive system, that’s an understandable sin. Look at how his statistics improved over his next two starts. Those games came against the AFC West, which is a perfect springboard for quarterbacks trying to find their groove.
Now, the Raiders lead the West. If the team can remain generally competent, they’ll land in the playoffs for the first time since 2002. General competence is seriously all it takes in this division these days.
6. Franchise Quarterback Is Relatively Healthy, Crappy
In this southwestern AFC wilderness, not even an elite quarterback is safe.
Bumblebees are not biters, which really speaks to how disappointing Philip Rivers' season has been. Over the last three years, he's rated statistically as one of the best quarterbacks in the game. But after three seasons with a passer rating over 100, he stands at 80.2 through nine games this year. So what's happening?
Well, the most likely explanation is that his team is broken. Tight end Antonio Gates, a staple of the Chargers' offense since Rivers has been in the league, has missed a lot of action. Receivers Vincent Jackson and Malcom Floyd have been hobbling.
Compromise a quarterback’s favorite options, and he’ll be forced to act more quickly and take more chances. If that happens, mistakes happen. Probably not this kind of mistake, though.
This is Rivers on Halloween as he fumbled away a win in just about the most literal possible sense. Here’s analysis for you: if Rivers can find his old form, the Chargers have a great shot of reaching the playoffs. If he remains mediocre, the Chargers still have a good chance of making the playoffs.
Not sure what an AFC West team would do with a playoff spot anyway. They should probably just spend the rest of the season having a good time and trying to enjoy themselves.
7. Quarterback Depth Chart Re-Arranged, Probably In Accordance With Prophecy
Tim Tebow’s emergence is the 2011 season’s crown jewel of quarterbacking strangeness, and it’s also the most annoying storyline. Look at Kyle Orton’s passer rating over the first four weeks of the season. They reflect two subpar, but not disastrous, weeks, and two good weeks.
I swear to God, Tebow’s emergence is in accordance with a super-stupid prophecy. Orton’s play was not bench-ably bad, but Tebow got a start anyway, and his debut was so awful that the opposing defense openly mocked him after the game. And yet, he’s now 3-2 as a starter, with one of those wins coming in a game in which he threw precisely two completions.
The passer rating does not take into account rushing yards, of which Tebow is averaging over 60 per game. The NFL has always been violent enough to resemble an Old Testament story. If Tebow makes the playoffs, it will also be strange enough.
8. Team Starts Unproven Quarterback For The 400 Millionth Time
In the years following the prosperous Trent Green era, the Chiefs' quarterback solutions were some of the least convincing I've ever seen. For two years, they implemented a merry-go-round of Damon Huard, Brodie Croyle, and Tyler Thigpen, each of whom took multiple spins. Quarterback stability was finally restored in the form of Matt Cassel, who emerged last season as a remarkably effective quarterback.
This season, basically everyone who has ever played for the Chiefs has seen their bodies broken and ruined forever. Nearly all of Cassel’s major offensive weapons were lost for the season with injury, and last Sunday, so was he.
In comes Tyler Palko, a 28-year-old veteran of the UFL and CFL who, prior to Sunday, had thrown one NFL pass in his life. His offense is ravaged with injuries at the skill positions. In his next five weeks, he faces the Patriots, Steelers, Bears, Jets, and Packers.
Remember that story of the woman who was murdered in the street while 38 people heard or watched, but for whatever reason did not call the police? Remember when you heard that story and thought, “that’s ridiculous, I definitely would have called the police if I were them”? Well, here’s the chance you’ve been waiting for, cowboy. Pick up the phone. He’s going to die.
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