Ranking NFL Games 21-30, As Previewed By Someone Who Who Hasn’t Watched Football In 10 Years And Holds Strong Opinions Anyway
As noted, the rest of this list will be ranked by special guest previewers. Please enjoy the 21st through 30th most interesting games remaining in the NFL season, and please welcome our special guest, Someone Who Who Hasn’t Watched Football In 10 Years And Holds Strong Opinions Anyway.
21. Dallas at NY Giants (Week 17)
Oh yeah, this oughta be a good one. You know it’s gonna be good if it’s a Cowboys game. Got a feeling that uh, you know, they’re just, [takes really long sip of coffee, waits for someone else to change the subject]
Winner: Cowboys.
22. Detroit at Chicago (Week 10)
Ha! Lions. Let me tell you something about the Lions. You know what “LIONS” stands for? Just End The Season! Wait.
Winner: Lions.
23. San Diego at Oakland (Week 17)
I don’t really watch football anymore, but I saw someone on a website call the Raiders the “Faiders.” I guess they aren’t very good, huh, fading away at the end of games and all that? Oh, I can’t remember where I saw it. I clicked a story on my homepage, and there was a Twitter where someone said it.
Hmm? I don’t know. There was just a Twitter.
Winner: Raiders.
24. Pittsburgh at Cincinnati (Week 10)
I’m sure Kordell Stewart’s retired now, right? Too bad. I gotta go with the Steelers here. Between that fella who fell off the motorcycle and Kordell Stewart... well yeah, I know he doesn’t play for them anymore, but you know he left a legacy.
It’s just really important for football teams to have legacies. At least five or six legacies, probably.
Winner: Steelers.
25. NY Giants at NY Jets (Week 16)
Ha! Jets. You know what “JETS” stands for? Just End The Season! Wait, are the Jets not bad anymore? Wait.
Winner: Jets.
26. Indianapolis at New England (Week 13, Sunday night)
Sunday night? Can’t be there. It’s Simpsons night! That’s a bummer. Would have been nice to catch up on all the Spygate and what have you. You want to know what I think about Spygate? I think that it’s really bad!
Winner: Packers. [EDIT: This prediction was pasted incorrectly, but I must stand by my decision. Go Packers!]
27. NY Jets at Buffalo (Week 9)
Oh boy. That ought to be a bad one, huh? Buffalo’s got the uh, they’ve got a bad running game and a quarterback controversy. They ought to just uh, fire the uh.. maybe that was baseball. Maybe it was about a pitcher and baseball. Saw it on SportsCenter.
Winner: Jets.
28. Philadelphia at Dallas (Week 16)
Oh! Hey, I heard about Michael Vick, what with all the jail. Hold on, got a bunch of Michael Vick jokes my nephew sent me. One goes like, uh, okay it goes, “What does Michael Vick... Michael Vick goes to a dog... store, like a PetSmart, and...” OK wait it goes, um.
OK hold on, I need to go look it up in my email. It’s really good. It’s really, really funny.
Winner: Eagles.
29. Detroit at Green Bay (Week 17)
Talk about a snoozefest. You snooze, you lose. I don’t know what that last thing I said means.
Winner: Lions.
30. Cleveland at Baltimore (Week 16)
Wait, so who... Cleveland moved, I thought. I... wait, now they’re the Browns? How can the Browns move and then there’s just a new Browns? And they got to keep the historical records? How can something like history belong to somebody? This is weird. That’s just too weird for me. See, that’s why I stopped watching the NFL. Too many existential quandaries.
Winner: Ravens.
Stay tuned to this StoryStream for the rest of the rankings.
